06/24/19
I have been suffering through a bad pain flare for about three days now, going on four. My thighs have had a burning sensation in the front and the back mixed with points of stabbing pain all over, including parts or my thighs. I've been getting by, but the CBD oil has had very little effect, which is a first.
I had a bad fight with my hubby yesterday. It started with me trying to get him to help out with keeping the kitchen clean. I didn't ask very well, he got upset, and then we argued and fought most of the day. Not about the kitchen, of course, we argued about the way we argue! I told him that whenever I want something different and tell him, he can't handle criticism and immediately becomes a jerk, then storms off. I told him that he does it on purpose so that I will never complain about anything anymore and then he said he only storms off because of the way I word my complaints. Then I said he needed to take responsibility for his own behavior and not blame me for his actions. Then he said I'm just trying to change him, I'm not happy with who he is. Etc. Etc. And on and on.
Every time we do this we SAY we will discuss things differently next time, but it never happens. There has been no improvement in this area so far. I'm not giving up. I'm not going to stop bringing up things I don't like about the house just because he doesn't want to hear it or have to do anything differently.
I'm sure the arguing doesn't help my fibromyalgia. I need to take some time to decompress today.
Replies
I remember years ago, when my wife was busy with work or busy recuperating from an illness or surgery, she would ask me to do the house cleaning most of the time I did but sometimes I didn't and it would start a fight. I was hard for me to be compassionate when I was having to do my work and hers too but that really wasn't the problem and I found this out one day as my wife's mood suddenly changed,
She just stared at me and said, "Ya know? It's not what you say, but how you say it that hurts!" From that moment on, I completelt changed the way I communicate with her. Instead of coming from my ego, with resentment in the tone of my voice, I now come from a place of Love in my heart and it works like this. For every thought that crosses my mind, I ask myself,...Is this based on love or ego? and if it's based on my ego, then I choose again. It took practice but over time, I got really good and really fast and it completely changed my relationship.
Thought I'd share that with you.
hugs
God Bless
I do agree with you that phrasing can make the difference. I will try saying what I want out loud or writing it down so that I can hear how it sounds. Then rephrase as necessary.
Hugs