05/19/19

The last few weeks have been rough.  Work has been really stressful and I've been overloaded.  My husband needed to have a colectomy.  I was I'll with migraine level headaches due to a sinus infection and dealing with difficulties with my daughter and my idiot ex-husband.  Things started to slow down and slowly get better around mother's day.  I have been slowly getting my energy levels back.  

Through all that I was seriously thinking about finding a different job.  I get paid well to do what I do and to take a different job or to switch to part-time means that I would cut my pay in half.  While I'd really like to have less work, the option of less pay isn't appealing.  Work has gotten better this past week but I'm still on the fence about whether to stay at my current site.  I think I will give it another year and see if I can get some students or clinical fellows to work under me helping to relieve my work load. 

It's been hard for me to be positive about the future.  Going at the pace I'm going just makes me feel stressed.  But cutting back at work would reduce my ability to pursue the goals I'd really like to pursue in life.  I always told myself that when my kids moved out that I would finally do all  the things and goals I had put off doing during the first half of my life.  Having less money coming in means that I have less ability.  I don't want to sit at the end of a long life and say that I didn't work towards what I wanted because I just wanted to be healthy.  A long healthy life for me WITHOUT acheiving the goals I had would cause me deep regret.  

The one commodity you can not buy or get back is time and I don't want to waste what time I have.