03-03-2016

My first big test today, I'm having the overwhelming feeling of being alone today.  Knowing what I can't do anymore is making it a lot easier to not do those things.  I use to think, it's OK, I'm not hurting anyone by doing this.  How wrong I was and how sorry I am now.
The one person that I use to avoid when I felt this way, just because I didn't want to feel weak, is now the only person I want to talk to.  Of course I have completely destroyed that relationship and she won't talk to me.  With the pain I feel, I can't even imagine all of the pain I put her through, she must be the strongest person I know to have dealt with me for so many years.