01/08

Since the last time that I wrote a journal, things in my life started to get better. I was hopefull for the best and change. I try to give my dad chance, in hope that maybe he will change. We have had small arguments throught the last couple of months. However, today I felt as if he was the same man who has belittle me my whole life. I started my day by going to church with my boyfriend and his family. With just to get a call from my dad cussing me out and saying awful things. Since I went back to graduate school, for financial reasons I had to move back home. I went home to see what was going on with him and he flipped out on me and my boyfriend. I do not know or understand what caused him to get so mad.  Sometimes I feel that he needs help, because the way he reacts concerns me over his mental health. I am scared. I dont know what to do. I feel that I need to just go back to a full time job and leave his home. But I am torn apart with not finishing Graduate school. I asked my boyfriend if I can move in with him, however it seems that he is not ready for that. I tried to speak to my mom and my siblings over the situation, but they made it clear that they want nothing to do with the situation. I feel that they do not want to get involved in fear that they will have to deal with the mess that my dad brings. Times like this I feel alone and that I have no one. It is one of the worst feelings to have.