Young Widows Community Group
This is a group for people who lost there partners at a young age. Come here for support and to offer encouragement to other people who have lost their partners.
Hello everyone, I don't like giving much information but here's my story.
I lost the love of my life almost 7 months ago, he was in his mid twenties, as am I. I did not think I would lose my soulmate until we were retired and of an older age... he went too soon. And my heart is shattered. We knew each other our whole lives, and grew up together, I never knew anyone who has passed away personally. The first person that it had to be was my husband. I miss him so dearly...
I went back to work right away, and got dismissed from school. I started taking anti-depressants returning to school, as I have responsibilities to continue. I'm doing poorly, can't concentrate, quit my job. Not going to lie, about how depressed I am.
I am bloody miserable.
The thing is, I never show it. I smile around my family and friends, but inside I'm a wreck. It shows through my behaviour if not through my emotions and interactions with people. I leave the house a wreck, my marks are very low, I stopped eating healthy and so on.
It is too painful to confront the sadness. I could only seldom do it...by going through his pictures growing up, listening to the songs played at his viewing.
I planned a life with him, and now he's gone. I feel so lost.
I look at pictures of him as he was growing up and think of what our children would have looked like, what he would look like growing old with me... it breaks my heart. My heart is torn.
Everything reminds me of him. The only thing that genuinely makes me laugh is my memories with him, that is all... I miss him so bad, going through his clothes...bring back so many memories. I keep wishing how he could just magically fill them.
I feel so empty.
I've already decided I never want to move on...I don't tell people this much because they tell me how young I am. I wish they would consider what I'm going through, losing someone I grew up with, I don't care about moving on frankly. I care about HEALING. I don't think love can be measured by how young you are. Love is love, and finding your love can feel like you've been together for a lifetime. Only a few close people respect how I feel. I never want to feel this kind of agony again, I really don't think I can survive it a second time. and I definitely couldn't give anyone my heart again after what it's been through. More so, I don't feel like I have a heart to give, when my heart belongs to him. I am still so in love with him, I even still feel close to him.
I am religious and believe we will be together again. He is my angel, and I know he's with me wherever I go. Does anyone feel this way about moving on? or is it just me... has anyone lost their husband or wife at a young age? It is so hard...all we can really do at this time for grief, is seek nothing but comfort. I feel so fragile. Like an open wound.
I lost the love of my life almost 7 months ago, he was in his mid twenties, as am I. I did not think I would lose my soulmate until we were retired and of an older age... he went too soon. And my heart is shattered. We knew each other our whole lives, and grew up together, I never knew anyone who has passed away personally. The first person that it had to be was my husband. I miss him so dearly...
I went back to work right away, and got dismissed from school. I started taking anti-depressants returning to school, as I have responsibilities to continue. I'm doing poorly, can't concentrate, quit my job. Not going to lie, about how depressed I am.
I am bloody miserable.
The thing is, I never show it. I smile around my family and friends, but inside I'm a wreck. It shows through my behaviour if not through my emotions and interactions with people. I leave the house a wreck, my marks are very low, I stopped eating healthy and so on.
It is too painful to confront the sadness. I could only seldom do it...by going through his pictures growing up, listening to the songs played at his viewing.
I planned a life with him, and now he's gone. I feel so lost.
I look at pictures of him as he was growing up and think of what our children would have looked like, what he would look like growing old with me... it breaks my heart. My heart is torn.
Everything reminds me of him. The only thing that genuinely makes me laugh is my memories with him, that is all... I miss him so bad, going through his clothes...bring back so many memories. I keep wishing how he could just magically fill them.
I feel so empty.
I've already decided I never want to move on...I don't tell people this much because they tell me how young I am. I wish they would consider what I'm going through, losing someone I grew up with, I don't care about moving on frankly. I care about HEALING. I don't think love can be measured by how young you are. Love is love, and finding your love can feel like you've been together for a lifetime. Only a few close people respect how I feel. I never want to feel this kind of agony again, I really don't think I can survive it a second time. and I definitely couldn't give anyone my heart again after what it's been through. More so, I don't feel like I have a heart to give, when my heart belongs to him. I am still so in love with him, I even still feel close to him.
I am religious and believe we will be together again. He is my angel, and I know he's with me wherever I go. Does anyone feel this way about moving on? or is it just me... has anyone lost their husband or wife at a young age? It is so hard...all we can really do at this time for grief, is seek nothing but comfort. I feel so fragile. Like an open wound.
is it bad that I just want to focus on healing RIGHT NOW...not so much thinking of where I'll be in the future? Wherever I will be I know I will be better than I am now. But my wounds are so fresh, I can't handle any more pain... the thought of even considering anyone else makes me nauseous and dizzy. He is irreplaceable. We were very loyal to each other, he is my best friend and my other half, I feel like a part of him still lives through me. It makes me mad that people are even having a conversation with me about that, I JUST lost him...I don't understand how some people expect me to pretend like I'm okay and move on...it just isn't that easy, for me at least.
No one can tell you how to feel and you should not try to live up to anyone's expectations in all this, your attention to such is why you are wearing a mask around certain people, lose the masks if you possibly can. be yourself, feel no shame for how you feel and the rest will slowly come if you show faith.
As regards what you decide for the future, I would say, not now hunnie, not yet, time is an amazing healer and life has a way of guiding us and getting us through these awful trials it gives us.
I wish you all the strength and luck in the world, keep your heart and mind open, be yourself, love yourself and know that one day when it is your turn, you will see him again, he has never left you in spirit, the love you hold for him in your heart will mean he will always be alive in you, with you and deservedly so, it's just a shame you cannot share your life here and now with him, it's cruel, unexplained and just so bloody unfair but this is the reality and you will learn to cope with it, in your own way, in your own time and not when or how someone else suggests you will..xxxx
. But wat i believe is that death ends a life , not a relationship
. U know I read somewhere that lost love is still love, u cant see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor.. But memory becomes ur partner.. u nurture it.. u hold it.. u dance with it.
Life has to end .. love doesnt..
My heart feels like it is physically in pain, and I go most days feeling empty. I know it's still so fresh but my most painful moment is driving up the laneway to our home (it was actually a home owned by his family since 1946, we bought it this year) knowing that when I get to the house-he will never be there. I am a believer also, and it gets me through each day-he always called me his angel and now he is mine.
I too feel like an open wound. But marriage and a family are very important to me-so I keep this in mind, knowing that although the idea is painful (and things will never, ever be the same) I will move on. Comparisons will only be natural, but I smile knowing he will be waiting for me when it is my time to go. Stay strong.
I am definitely with you with everything you just said. It does not phase me how crazy I may seem to people! It really doesn't change the way I feel. Everyone is different, and I'm just being myself, and being honest with myself.
Some days I feel like he's always by my side, I could just imagine something we would laugh at, something he would tell me in a situation, something he would do to cheer me up...and it would fill my heart.
Today was different. The emptiness hit me like a ton of bricks.
It's been ten months since my loss, and these days are like deja vu... the weather is the same, bright and sunny but cold... and it reminds me of our last memories together this time last year. The only difference is he's not here, and I feel so alone and empty...so empty. Thank goodness the day is over. It's hard not to be sad when your entire setting just reminds you of the one you lost. I feel so incomplete.
The peace and hope stays strong, then wears off on me... comes and goes...
wish I knew what to do when it wears off. It's too painful to handle
Thanks for your reply, I don't feel so alone on this one!!! *hugs*
Losing a soul mate does not mean the end. It means they are still with you in certain aspects. Dreams, songs, or however you remember them.. but it does NOT make you crazy to grieve. It makes you beautifully unique. It sets you apart from the rest, because you understand humanity like no one else can. I hope whoever reads this, knows they are not alone. Grief is gosh damn hard. Just put your head down, and weather the storm. It gets harder, before it lessens. And at the edge of the storm, you learn how strong you fuckin are.