I'm so sorry for your loss, it doesnt matter that you werent married it hurts just the same. I lost my husband a little over a year ago and we were high school sweethearts and it doesnt get easier you just adjust to him not being there. And people say the same thing to me oh your young but they dont get it. It's hard for others to understand and they may feel like they are helping with those comments. It takes time um lots of time from what I keep hearing I havent gotten there yet myself. Healing is a long process and allow all the time you need cry when you need to and laugh or smile at the good memories.

I am so sorry for your loss brokenangel. I think people just think because we weren't married I should be ok and start getting over it but I will never get over losong him. I think it'd hurt just as much now as it would if we were married 20 years as I know he was the love of my life. People really don't understand how hard it is to lose someone so young and I know they mean the best with their comments but they make me feel worse rather than anything. I know its going to be a long time until I fewl any better, if anything I fewl worse now than ever but I think I've now had time to let it sink in whereas at first I was in a state of shock. All I havw are good memories of him so looking back and remembering thise times really does help. I hope it starts getting easier for you soon and once again very sorry for your loss

I lost my husband young too, and heard the same things. You are right that people just don't understand. They mostly mean well, they just don't know what to say. They feel bad for your situation and want to see you happy, and seeing you in love again would do that. You will need to ignore some things people say. They don't realize what they say may hurt your feelings. Right now your pain is still very raw, you may change your mind later about being with someone else. Just be open. You don't have to decide anything right now. Being with someone else will not change the way your felt or feel about the man you lost. You love people for different reasons. You won't be replacing him, that is impossible. But you can have someone else in your life and be in love again and not lose what you had. You will have that forever. I started dating someone 16 months after I lost my husband. He and I have been together for almost 3 years now. I love him as much as I loved my husband. I just love him different. And that is ok. It is ok to be happy again. And you can create that happiness however you want. With or without someone new. Good luck to you and sorry for your loss.

Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiance to cancer in May on his 26th birthday. Its tough and a lonely road and people don't know how to support you. Tell your friends and family what you need. They don't know what to do or what to say. It doesn't get easier but you get stronger.

I feel as though you and I are in the same boat. I am 28 and lost my soulmate on November 3rd 2013. We were not married but as you said we talked about it often. I believe he is my true soulmate. People that didn;t even know us well as a coupe could see it and would comment on our connection. I have no words to comfort you because i am lost right now. I dont know how to continue life without this man.....

I am sorry that people say such insensitive things when they just don't understand. We have to ignore their ignorance. Also, marriage does not define how deeply you love someone. Before I lost Wayne we built our life together for almost 9 yrs, but did not marry. We had married friends who didn't even understand the love we had. And friends who's marriage ended. Don't let anyone who doesn't understand make you feel like it was less significant than it is in your heart. I'm sorry it is so painful, but I can tell you that coming to this group has helped. It doesn't go away, but it gets easier with time.
Hug

I am 28 and lost my soulmate on Jan. 11, 2013. We had been together 5 years and got engaged 3 months prior. We had purchased a house together a year prior. I don't understand how this is all supposed to work and life is supposed to move forward. I hate trying to minimize his families loss, but they aren't the ones waking up everyday without him here, they aren't having to take care of the dog we adopted while maintaining the house and working a full time job and then having to come home and not having that support system at home to help with the cleaning and making dinner. It's in my face everyday that he is no longer here. They can remove themselves from the situation, it makes it so much harder when you can't. here for you.

I am so sorry for you loss. I am 28 and I lost my soul mate on March 7, 2014, he was 37. We had been together for 6 years, married for 3, and have two children ages 3 and 18 months. I am heartbroken that they will never know their dad. We were living in Sydney, Australia but originally from California. I had to spend the month after his death selling all of our belongings and finalising our affairs in Sydney before moving to Georgia to live with my mom. Our lives have been turned upside-down and so unexpectedly. Each one of us will grieve in our own way and so many people will try to offer words of wisdom and offer support but they will never fully understand because they are not in our shoes. In your own time life will start to make sense again, it will never feel the same but as long as you have hope in your heart you will succeed. I hope that I can continue to make him proud and to raise our children with all the wonderful memories we created while we were together and a family. You have support here :)

Hi, I came across this post whilst searching the internet for some self help as I also feel so alone because not only have I lost my partner but no-one understands as I am such a young age!!

I am 26 and tragically lost my soul mate 13 weeks ago. We were travelling the world and living the dream when he was involved in a horrific accident in Australia!! We were not married either and I totally feel your pain for the life plans that we will never have now.

Life is so cruel and has no meaning at all!!

I'm so sorry. I lost the love of my life on December 11th, 2013. In five days it will be five months. This is the longest I've been without him in twenty years. I know it feels like everyone is trying to hurry you along on your grief journey. I know that's how it feels for me. I just turned 39 and feel so alone. I know I have a whole other chapter in my life waiting for me. I am finally coming out of the grief fog. I feel a little bit more in control now, even though I still cry everyday. I finally believe that I will be happy one day...even if someday seems so far away right now. Keep reaching out. Know that you are not alone. Take it one day at a time.

Marriage doesn't matter when you have lost your love, your should mate, so I am sorry you have lost yours. People will say things out of ignorance, love is not a commodity like a car or a house, that we can replace. Our hearts take time to heal and we learn to smile again. I've lost my wife of 13 years and we too had so many plans and life seems so unfair that we won't see these through. So you can see, you are no different, we share this pain you feel. You are still very early and raw in your grief and I hope over time your pain will ease, it takes time.