Worshipping Ladies Community Group

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Could Use A Prayer Or Two

veggiequeen
veggiequeen

I have been in an unhappy marriage for the last 10 of 15 years. I have been telling hubby that I wasn't happy.....tried to explain why.  Once or twice he did try to be a bit more helpful ....but it would last about two days ....after that...it was..."You know how I am"


I struggled with this for a long time. All the women in my family clear back to grandmothers would do all that they could for their children, spouses, and anyone they would come in contact with.  They gave, but often got very little back.  Now I am aware I have done the same...given and done all, but gotten very little back.  No affection, or physical touch, very little support, communication, and absolutely no help.  I have grown tired of being discounted and , while good marriages have two people who work together and make each other stronger, happier, and better.......with us, I feel like he is fighting me at every turn.


We have just talked again .He asked if I wanted a divorce. I was not going to lie. I told him yes. he is very angry,trying again to covince me to stay.


I am asking for strength and guidance from God to show me if this is forgivable in his eyes.....but I could use a prayer or two also.   :(

Beryl367
Beryl367
Sorry to hear you have been going through this. While, generally, divorce is not part of God's plan there are exceptions.

I am happy to pray for you.

Have you searched the Scriptures on marriage and divorce?

Have you (either or both) spoken with your pastor about this?

Have you sought out the advice of a Christian counselor?

Any of those things may help you see clearly God's path for you.

In the meantime, I will pray for you.

May God fill you with His love and peace.

Beryl.
shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17
Do you both go to church, pray together, etc.? I am a widow, but my late husband was somewhat that way. He was a workaholic, and ever so gradually I felt that his affections for me were diminished - and even more so after he had a pituitary adenoma. He wasn't abusive, per say, but he wouldn't guard my back (and he seemed to crave the attention of other females). We pretty much became as business partners, since he was a book publisher. There was some satisfaction in that but was not considered quality time between a man and his wife. Perhaps you could try a legal separation to see if he can get his act together.

Carrie
Beryl367
Beryl367
Oops.

I forgot to include this...
What do you think life would be like as a divorced Christian woman? Because remarriage is not part of God's plan - unless it's to the person's ex (see 1 Corinthians 7: 10-11 on this).

Have you seen on TV, I think his name is Jimmy Evans, he's a pastor who talks about what a horrible shambles his marriage was in-- until God intervened. The program is called Marriage Today. I've seen it in TBN. Also, I remember that a Bible teacher named Joyce Meyer sometimes talks about how difficult the early years of her marriage were, yet God worked in both their lives and things improved - they're grandparents now and I think approaching their 70s.

I wonder if any of those sources could be useful to you......

Blessings and Peace....
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
I struggle with all of this. I haven't been turning to my bible...(truth be known, what has drawn me back toward God is a friend who does start my day by sending a bible lesson every morning)

My husband and I don't have a regular church that we attend (There is one close by we have attended several times ...but lately when we do go it is to his sister's church which is a bit farther away. They sometimes have it videoed on Facebook. as the last couple weeks when I could go, he didn't feel well.)

We don't really know anyone well enough to go to. We don't pray together...don't do much of anything together. I find myself feeling closer to God if I can go off on my own and chat with him one on one.

As far as the divorced Christian woman. I did also believe that. But given the way our relationship has turned out and the fact that I have heard so much from so many that that is not how a woman should be treated and there are many who do (or would) treat someone they cared about better.
I pray that maybe someday I may find someone like that......and i do not believe it will be hubby.
shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17
As a widow, another widow at my church told me that I could not (re)marry to a divorced man. I don't know how my pastor perceives this, because we haven't discussed it yet. It is really a controversial subject. I guess the way I believe is that each case is different, and all things must be taken into consideration. In the church I attend, if the divorce took place before coming to God, I think maybe remarriage is allowable. The past is forgiven. Otherwise, half our church is going to Hell. There are some ultra conservatives who believe that divorce and remarriage is the unpardonable sin, no matter what the reason - even adultery. True, if both husband and wife are saved and put God first and foremost in their lives, divorce should never happen. Sometimes one person goes sideways though, and then I think that a separation is okay and maybe necessary. I would really pray about this earnestly and seek Godly counsel. My first husband divorced me in 1989, and I remarried a man who had been married five times. He died, and I remarried a widower.
So you see how tricky this can be and hard to figure out.
brite7
brite7
I replied to this and it disappeared ????
I am praying fervently .
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