good and bad isn't it? I know mine's with someone else and he'll never call but there's still a part of me that really wishes he would. sucks being stuck on someone that's quite happily with another.

yup. It's no fun.
I don't know if M is with someone else, I don't want to know. It would make sense if he is though. He's never gona so long without contact, then again, neither have I.
I even shudder to think that even if he is with someone, he'd call if he wanted to.
so fckd up

only for a little bit more. you'll get past this and learn from it. woe to the next fool that comes our way.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss: I do this little trick when I'm training for a race (like half marathon, that's as far as I've run so far) where I start running and when I begin to breathe heavy or feel myself failing, I look up ahead and pick a landmark (a blue house, let's say) and I tell myself, "I just have to get to that blue house and once I'm there, if I decide to quit, I will allow myself" and then once I get to the blue house (or whatever said landmark is) I ALWAYS immediately choose another landmark instead of quitting. And I've been known to do that for more than half of the length of a run. I mean, we're talking about a dozen landmarks just to get me through. And I know without them, I would never make it.
So with my ex, I did a similar thing...and I see you doing it. It's strange but I know you have the same willpower as myself (I read it in your posts often) and I know this vacation is a blue house for you. Just get to the landmark honey, and then once you make it there, let's reassess how you feel ok?

PS: 9 days is A LOT. You should be very proud of yourself for sticking to your guns. I know that the more time that goes by, the less I feel contacting him is even an option.
Sure, I still think about it. Sometimes more than others (and at the strangest and most awful times of course) but I haven't unblocked that sucker yet. And get this...I pulled up an old photo of him on my computer the other day, and I stared at it awhile and started noticing he isn't that attractive after all. LOL. Funny what a little space does for the brain.
Plus, when we don't hear all of their lies and charming bs, we start to see the REAL them. And that's not always as attractive as the elusion. You're so close Miss. You're doing AWESOME

you are so right Maryland. when we stay away long enough for the charm to wear off they really don't seem nearly as attractive. you're so much stronger than you were those first couple of weeks. we don't have to put up with the BS!

Thanks swelsha. I'm really WORKING toward recovery (and as you know, it takes dedication). Also, I happen to belong to this really great support group online... :)

maryland, thank you soooo much. I've said this before and I'll say it again, you're such an inspiration.
I am proud of myself. Not so much because I made it thsi far..but because I haven't really had teh urge to call him. Yes I wish he would but I never even considered making that move. It woudl be so incredibly foolish of me, after everything I said to him last.

My landmark is August 9th, the day I come back from vacation. Then we will reassess :)

I can relate to having a date to get through as a hurdle. Sometimes it is in our minds, a date of our own invention, but I do understand. I have the same close proximity test coming in one week. I have mental images of seeing him there and thinking of how I will deal with it. It is inevitable but it is one weekend and when I am on the other side I believe I will feel like I have passed through a veiled curtain to a place of peace.