I have been one of those people--happy on the outside in many situations but truly, deeply unhappy. This is changing for me now and I can see the effects 'it' (as in my energy shift) is having on my life. LOTS of good and positive vibes are coming my way. It is so much so that I am almost awestruck BUT I can see the direct correlations. It is incredible.
HOW did this happen?
Therapy, this site, dancing, pushing myself into the world, energy work AND I believe very significantly, repeating affirmations daily. The things that I state in these affirmations as if they are truth are now becoming truth.
I believe very strongly in the power of positive thinking because I have seen it work. It is hard at the beginning but repeat to yourself whatever you want/need/deserve from the universe with positive present tense intent. One of mine is this:

I am more than who I think I am.
I am deeply aligned with my higher self and who and what I really am.
I am asking for the help and assistance of those spirits and beings who care equisitively for me and my compelling calling in life. I am asking for their wisdom, understanding, protection and guidance in ways that are right for me at this juncture of my journey.

I am also repeating the following aloud randomly throughout the day:

May I be liberated for the benefit of all beings.

xo

I haven't done alot with affirmations but perhaps I will try some. I believe that we choose, nay, insist on happiness after we've finally had enough misery that we simply won't allow it anymore. when I was in that accident a few weeks ago it really affected my perspective and opened my eyes to all the good things going on and to not give so much power to the negative. I couldn't have done this and stayed in a hurtful relationship.

That's the attitude, Dracona. Happiness, in the end, is a choice that we make: we can choose to focus on either the positive or the negative. And we have to keep on choosing to be grateful for what we have. Keep it up, ladies!

NEVER GIVE UP, and never let anyone tell you that you arent worth it.... happiness is a state of mind. and we wont find our happiness from someone else outside ourselves.

Totally agree with Dracona. I also used to think that I will never be happy, that it's not meant for me. Now I see that this is not true. It depends only on me whether I'm happy or not. It's a state of mind rather than of things. I realized that I was making myself unhappy because that was all I knew.
This site has helped me (the wonderful ladies here) a lot and also the book. I get a lot of positive energy from dancing and meeting new people. Opening myself up to the world a little. I have found counsellors specializing in loving too much for a reasonable price, so I'm planning to see one soon.

Amen ladies! Creo, I am on the same path and I have found so much love, peace, joy and enlightenment from my amazing journey (that is what I call life). Just never give up, be open to change and ask the universe to show you a better way and you will be supprised how the right tools just pop up out of nowhere. Weather it be a book, a support group, a dance class, an affirmation or prayer, a freind who calls, etc. it's amazing!