Ahhh yes but then there is the...it would be nice to have someone to watch a movie with, someone to have dinner with, someone to cuddle with...someone to conquer the world with, someone to hold you and make you feel safe, somone to touch you and make you feel so alive...yup thats what goes thru my head when lonliness hits me. Most of the time I say to myself all that stuff you said but when the other stuff hits me I feel pretty sad.

Except for the ... well, I enjoy waking up and living my day ... knowing that I am safe. I am often lonely ... SO lonely ... and my life feel unbalanced. Work, work, work! And then I'm grateful I have work. A little time with my son (who's 23 and still likes to hang out with me from time to time) who is my greatest blessing, and even walking my dog. I eat what I choose, have the option of choosing how to spend my free time, and so much more. Mostly, it's the safety. Even when it seems time is inching by, I remind myself, I'm healing. It's been over a year for me. No contact. I just re-signed up on a religious dating site and read a message "he" sent me in April: "I have been thinking of you a lot lately. You probably hate me." And I realize if I hadn't taken this entire year, I might have written back. Thanks to you and everyone on this site who shares their stories, I can see how hollow those words are. There's nothing about caring for me, or even an apology. He's fishing. Fortunately, this fish is in more peaceful waters and not hungry enough ... or at all, should I say, for a bite of that. My advice would be to enjoy your daughter and simple moments when you aren't worrying about what anyone else is doing or whether or not you're safe. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

i'm ok being alone, but I'm not sur ehow to feel entirely safe and secure...so more work on self acceptance and belief in God having a plan for me an the rest of us.

I think it has been healthy being single...I really needed time to rest and recharge batteries. I recently started going to the gym, swimming pool, sauna and am also attending IT classes...keeping myself busy has been the medicine for my bad thoughts...I think what I'm living now is great, and if the healthy guy doesn't come along then, it won't be the end of the world for me or any of you!...haven't got children but got a lovely kitten who is great company.

Basically what im saying is... life your life the way you want to, without answering to anyone, and maybe in doing that, when you are not looking and feeling free and confident with yourself, you will find someone who just happens to naturally let you be you, and be on the same page as you. but until that happens, dont worry about it... because we cant allow ourselves to fall into that pit of despair... when and if you fall into that pit, remember what it was like before, the constant up and down, and that darkness that only their company could fix. and remember why you are enjoying being single. I think i would even allow myself to dream of a healthy relationship, like a HEALTHY child would. like start over. my childhood man dreams, were like this...
dreaming of finally feeling, that someone loved me, that they would take me away and heal my pain.
that i would feel whole once i find them...

Hello everyone. I'm new here and I have no idea how I came across this forum or group (I feel I was led here as I wasn't looking for anything remotely like it but somehow ended up here. I will in another introduction post share my story but won't hijack his one. I just wanted to say I too am learning (again) to be alone and rediscover myself. I have much work to do and have been doing. Initially the fear of the loneliness was nearly paralyzing but Dracona is so right in focusing on the positives that being on your own can bring. Sure the other things that ladytruee are correct as well. I mean who doesn't want those things. If we didn't we wouldn't seek out or stay in relationships in the first place would we? It's the reasons that we ARE on our own, and regaining our inner strength, healing, over coming our fears, discovering ourselves and maybe even new strengths is what is important when we waiver. And we do waiver don't we? It's groups like this that help us stay on task, on track and not get swept up in the tide when we dip our feet in the water that can be a life saver though. So grateful to have been led here.

Here's how I view this question...if I'm thinking "will I always be alone" then I NEED to be alone! That doesn't mean I'm not lonely and that I don't think about what it was like when it was good with him and that I don't get sad. I do! But I'm taking one day at a time trying to figure me out. I want to be that confident woman that Dracona described. Right now is my time and am in no rush to jump into anything else just to make the lonliness go away. Life is what we make it and I'm determined to make it great...for me...finally! :-) If I eventually meet someone to SHARE life with then great...but only if and when I'm ready.

welcome ladeesse. this is a truly awesome place.

and imp, i really like that. its very true. and you already are that confident woman. you just dont see it yet.... but everyone here is. even the most confident person falls sometimes, but its how you get back up that matters and makes you that confident self relying person. Ive made my choice. i told the man i am leaving that sometimes, loving someone means you have to let them go... and that if he cared that is exactly what he must do. that if he was truly serious about working on himself, that we could still talk... but that we would not live together at all until we could be sure that both our personal issues are resolved and we are content alone. of course this is unacceptable to him. but i put it out there.
i do need to be alone. im looking at a one bedroom... its so tiny, but the yard is huge for my dogs and child. its winter now... but it will be good in the summer, and there is room for my horses. i dont think there is even enough room for a dining table, and there is no bath tub. maybe he will install one? cause my baby loves to take baths. or ill get her a tub and well do it like they did in the old days LOL. whatever. the important thing is.. we will be alone. together.