Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I am now in Month 11 of NC with my EX-N. A few days ago, a female Facebook "friend" of mine posted a photo of my EX-N to my FB page. The picture was from her recent birthday party. In the photo, he was smiling broadly and was seated next to a woman. He was wearing what appeared to be a beautifully tailored suit. For a minute, he actually looked "good" to me. I asked myself, "Why couldn't he look like that when we were together? I even asked myself, "Was it really that bad when we were together? The answer came quickly: YES. IT REALLY WAS THAT BAD!
Sidebar: The FB "friend" I speak of above is no longer my friend. My biggest mistake was sharing with her my relationship with my EX-N; they were FB friends all along, but she never knew that we had been a couple, until I told her. Pretty soon, she was telling me about posts he'd put up, etc. I told her that I didn't care what he was posting, that I had blocked him long ago, and I really didn't want to talk about him. In the days leading up to her party, she made a point of mentioning who would be attending her party. She never once mentioned that she had invited HIM. (I was invited to to the party, but couldn't attend because of a death in my family - just two days before her event.) Yesterday, she sent me a frantic-sounding text message, saying she needed to "share" something with me. When I called her, the first thing she wanted to know was if I saw the photo she posted. That's when it hit me that she had purposely set out to start "trouble" for me. I made it clear to her that I was not interested in hearing anything about him EVER AGAIN. She countered by saying the woman who came with him was not his girlfriend. I wanted to say, "Are you out of your effing mind, bitch?" Instead, I calmly told her that I didn't care if he had come to her party with the Queen of Sheba on his arm. I think she FINALLY got the message. However, I was deeply hurt at the idea that this woman would go to such lengths to hurt me. Is it possible that she could be an N, too?
Please forgive my ramblings. My emotions are all over the place right now. Your feedback is appreciated.
Sidebar: The FB "friend" I speak of above is no longer my friend. My biggest mistake was sharing with her my relationship with my EX-N; they were FB friends all along, but she never knew that we had been a couple, until I told her. Pretty soon, she was telling me about posts he'd put up, etc. I told her that I didn't care what he was posting, that I had blocked him long ago, and I really didn't want to talk about him. In the days leading up to her party, she made a point of mentioning who would be attending her party. She never once mentioned that she had invited HIM. (I was invited to to the party, but couldn't attend because of a death in my family - just two days before her event.) Yesterday, she sent me a frantic-sounding text message, saying she needed to "share" something with me. When I called her, the first thing she wanted to know was if I saw the photo she posted. That's when it hit me that she had purposely set out to start "trouble" for me. I made it clear to her that I was not interested in hearing anything about him EVER AGAIN. She countered by saying the woman who came with him was not his girlfriend. I wanted to say, "Are you out of your effing mind, bitch?" Instead, I calmly told her that I didn't care if he had come to her party with the Queen of Sheba on his arm. I think she FINALLY got the message. However, I was deeply hurt at the idea that this woman would go to such lengths to hurt me. Is it possible that she could be an N, too?
Please forgive my ramblings. My emotions are all over the place right now. Your feedback is appreciated.
deleted_user
YES! She is a big fat N. While it may have appeared that she didn't set out deliberately to hurt you...she clearly didn't consider your feelings at all. Seems like she acted like her efforts were "helpful", like she was sharing this big secret drama with you, but after you disclosed (I'm assuming) the unhealthiness of your relationship and told her you weren't interested in hearing about him - to continue to text you about him, to post his picture to YOUR wall - to invite you to an event where he would be in attendance and not give you a heads up (for what? so you could walk in and see him with another woman?) - were all very deliberately HURTFUL. Good for you for realizing that this person is no "friend" at all...
deleted_user
First that girl is not your friend. A friend doesn't throw things in your face that would wound you. Toss her to the curb and definitely block her on FB. Who cares who he is with or how he looks now. That is of no concern to you. That will only set back your healing my dear. Stay strong and rid your life of people like her. As Oprah would say, surround yourself with people that lift you higher.
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