Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Part of my anxiety is over what he is telling other people and even his girls about me. You know what he believed to true - Like why we broke up - what is wrong with me - how my daughter was an issue - things he never told me, etc. I know this will happen because he told me of countless issues with countless women he had dated in the past. Why do I care so much? Why does it get my anxiety up? I don't want to be "This on girl I dated......."
are you reminding yourself that anything that comes from him is skewed and not accurate anyway??
something to work on letting go.....i really think it's about perspective......oftentimes we don't really get clear perspective until after the fact.....so hang in there. but try to compare it to something worse that has happened or could happen. your image in his eyes says nothing at this point.
we like to be the one that they think fondly of. the one that got away. the one they have good things to say about. it's natural. we all do i'm sure. but in the scheme of things it means little....
You got a lot of good stuff coming up. Keep it up I notice that during the grieving process a lot of hurtful and painful things rise to the surface to be released.
In past relationships I wasn't worried about what he was telling others. I am pretty sure that they do what we do most times and that is make it our fault. I have a tendency to down play my part and make him the monster underneath my bed. What I wanted him to do was to miss me, to regret it and to feel sorry for his loss. I have had men come back and say wow, I missed out on a good thing. To be honest they were wrong...there was nothing good about me giving out of fear, there was nothing good about me pushing and trying to take care of others in hopes that they would do it for me. What they saw as my good was really just my pain.
No matter what he says or don't say...all that really matters is the truth that you come to say about yourself. If he tells his daughters that it was your fault and you were impossible or if he goes on face book and tells everyone that you were to needy, to unfocused, to whatever. What will that mean to you?
That is where your meat and potatoes are. Realizing what is in you that you need from him. Do you need him to think highly of you....do you need his daughter to think highly of you...if so why. Keep digging you are doing great. Its ugly work, its hard, and its painful down there in the trenches. But I must say that with that dirt on your face and sweat in your eyes....you are by far the most beautiful thing I have seen in a while.