Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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sunnyjax 08/06/2016

So he came over.

Now I feel super super confused.

He had bought a car load of complete random stuff from the house. I just dont get it at all.

But then we talked some, and I cried some. He said it was over and what's done is done. Then we chatted some more about family and what was going on with everyone. I said some things I wanted to say, he said some things and it felt nice.

Then he asked me if we could go for a coffee or lunch. I agreed and said 'why not'

He took my hand as we walked through the city. It was nice.

We found somewhere to eat and had a nice talk over lunch, it was as if we had never been apart. ( I know I am romanticising there!) He said 'did you se that a guy nearly got run over as he was looking at me?' We talked some more over lunch about us and the future and how he wanted to continue to work together and what I should do with my accounts. He said he had left his wedding ring in my jewellery box for me to do with as I wished. We had a long hug as he set off, he told me he loved me and always would. It felt so nice. I miss him. One minute he was saying he wanted me to come home but I didnt so it is over, the next minute he says he cant sleep without me and just wants me to come home. The next minute its over, then I love you. As he left he said 'try and be excited about your new life here'.

Im so confused.

What just happened?

Have I just had an almighty mind fuck?!!!

QueenBee 08/06/2016

It is only natural that you are confused at this point. Try to accept this emotion for what it is without trying to fix it. At times it seems as though he was speaking like the one who broke it off (the quote that he loves you but not at all cost and the one about what was done was done). And at times as the an abandoned husband. Either way he is trying to regain control over the situation. Don't let him regain control over you.

goingup 08/06/2016

Abusers have a very difficult time letting go of the ones they have abused. They also have real, true feelings for us. That is what makes it so confusing. The fact though is that though they may have strong feelings, they are not capable of continuous respect, therefore not true love. These kind of relationships are addictive and all-consuming.
So take it for what it is: he has feelings for you. Unfortunately he is a damaged person and nothing he did to you will ever be ok and he is going to have to pay the price forthat by no longer having you in his life in that way anymore.

artgrrl 08/07/2016

I just re-read your previous post where you said he was a psychopath and very abusive. It sounds like he still wants his "supply", and as we all know, they come back again, and again, and again....it's all about when we are finally ready to give up the chains. Love to you Sunnyjax, you can do this....xoxo

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