Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I just want to let everyone know, that while this group is for sharing and healing, it is also for a positive future. a future without the violence, darkness, mistrust, and hate. Those of you that are further along in your recovery than others, please, share the difference, share the light you are finding in your life on this journey.
For me, even though i am at a slightly confused point in my life, it is SO much better.
I know i can make it through anything, and i will do everything in my power to not be drug down that path again. and if i slip, then i know how to get back out, i know i can leave, i know i have the power within me to live my own life and be my own person and have my own dreams, with, or without a man.
however the BIGGEST thing, is even though i get depressed, and angry, and half the time dont know what im feeling, is that there is no longer a gaping HOLE in my chest. i am me, i dont need him to fill that hole.
the pain is there, but i am feeling it as myself, as ME who hurts from the past. not because i am sacrificing myself to pain so that he will see how much i love him.
For me, even though i am at a slightly confused point in my life, it is SO much better.
I know i can make it through anything, and i will do everything in my power to not be drug down that path again. and if i slip, then i know how to get back out, i know i can leave, i know i have the power within me to live my own life and be my own person and have my own dreams, with, or without a man.
however the BIGGEST thing, is even though i get depressed, and angry, and half the time dont know what im feeling, is that there is no longer a gaping HOLE in my chest. i am me, i dont need him to fill that hole.
the pain is there, but i am feeling it as myself, as ME who hurts from the past. not because i am sacrificing myself to pain so that he will see how much i love him.
but i remember, feeling empty, looking for that other part of me out there, that love, that true love that conquers all. i GAVE myself to who ever my man was. I lost a career over a man that would have set me up for the rest of my life, and i would be living my dream. because when they distance themselves, the hole returns, the emptiness and extreme abandonment. its hell. no, worse than hell. that pain.
and from the outside it looks absolutely ridiculous, but it was real. is real.
this road is the hardest road to walk... you have to look deep inside yourself, and only you can do that. and the road never ends for people like us.does it get better? yes, we learn to live with ourselves, and we learn to love ourselves, in spite of the pain and confusion. most of us were abused somehow as children. and the wiring got crossed. when i get depressed, or something small sets me off, i try to think of just how bad things were for me, compared to how they are now, and try to be greatful. i know im not giving you much of an answer. but my only advice is, fill that hole with whatever you have to, as long as it keeps you away from him. be selfish. go do things you like to do. get in touch with old friends, as we tend to distance ourselves from them cause they just dont understand. learn to have fun and love life again, even if it doesnt seem like you enjoy it at the moment.
Thats when I had to find myself. I had never had lunch by myself before that happened. I had no clue what I liked, because I liked what he did.
I started being involved with my church. Meeting people, just filling my life. I had moved on...why I went back, I dont know. Anyway, coming to grips that it was over helped me.
I still thought about the abuse, but it didn't hurt anymore. Just moving on helped me move into the future.
Thats what I have done now...moved on. Moving on doesn't mean I don't get angry, or sad, or wish it could have been different. However, I have at least come to grips its over. I'm not confused on that.
There is a future awaiting
I'm Yet Committed To No Contact.
Thanks for Listening