As always I will be pulling for you and I know that you CAN and WILL pull the strength from within because you are a beautiful person and from what I have learned of you in the last 4 months (wow time flies) you can do it. I will be willing you strength for the journey ahead :)
Daniella

You have come a long way! Look at you, you're able to recognize a bad situation and not be in denial about it, and take appropriate action!
whoo hoo!

its hard to not chase after him, its hard to not call him, to check my phone messages every 5 minutes, i want to go home, and run to him and tell him i'll do whatever he wants, as long as he doesnt leave me. im fighting to not be in denial, i fight, keep telling myself this is real, keep telling myself that i am alone, that he put me alone, i read the letter he wrote me, the one part that says, you are on your own to get what you need and want..... i feel so alone at night, my heart hurts. its so hard. i never wanted to be like this again. but here i am.
yay.... no denial.... oh i wish i could just have something my way... hell, i even go to burger king and they forget the fries....

i believe some peoople just get scared off too easy. They are afraid of commitments. A strong relationship needs a strong foundation which takes alot of PATIENCE and TIME. It also takes two people who WANT to be together. I've been divorced 3 years and felt alone for about at least the last ten years of my marriage. Sometimes if the connection wasn't right you may be better off alone. Its better to find out sooner than later that he wasn't really ready or mature enough. Some one else will come along when you least expect it.

thanks, though its hard to believe right now.... he came along when i least expected, and left when i least expected.... i think i need to stop expecting thing, or start... LOL

Wow Dracona, you sound alot like me! I'm in the EXACT same place as you emotionally right now, so please contact me when you need me!!

I think, that part of our jouney is learning that we are not alone. To develop our spiritual part that enables us to be comfortable by ourselves (without some man who sucks the living life out of us}. Then when the relationship, even ones that seem good, may end we have the inner strength and peace to go on. It just didn't work out. We all know that you can feel ALONE even when you're in a relationship. Just because that body lying next to us is breathing doesn't mean you're not alone. Keep working on it. At least you had the courage to enter into another relationship. I have no doubt you will find what you're looking for.

This is something a friend sent to me in an e-mail. I do not know who the author is but I find it very helpful and read it all the time perhaps it will be helpful to others.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it.. when in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on... enough waiting for things to change... enough enduring instead of living.

You realize that its time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that there are no prince charmingâ??s or Cinderellaâ??s and that in the real world there arenâ??t always fairytale endings or beginnings and that any guarantee of happily ever after must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and thatâ??s okay. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you ( or didnâ??t do) and you learn that not everyone will always be there for you and that itâ??s not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. and you begin to sift through tall the garbage youâ??ve been fed on how you should behave, how you should look, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage. The importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view, and you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values youâ??ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.

That there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a consumer looking for your next fix.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.


You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be better looking, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the person on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely... and you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be perfect and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you measure up.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want, and that it is sometimes necessary to make demands.

You realize that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect, and you wonâ??t settle for less and you allow only the one who cherishes you to glorify you with their touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self respect.

You learn your body really is your temple and you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul you take more time to laugh and play.

You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and waiting for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give into fear is to give away the right to live your life on your own terms and you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about... full refrigerator, running water, a soft warm bed and a long hot shower.

Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your hearts desire. You make a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

With courage in your heart you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you've always wanted to live.

Sorry some of that didn't transfer correctly but you can probably make it out!!

Thanks for that Gracex7, that is very useful right now!

This is a good read years later

Thank you Grace. I needed that!

Thank you for posting this, it is something I desperately needed to read right now.

Grace - so significant for me right now too... Thanks for sharing.

This really touched my heart. Because I have felt like this is happening to me, but have slipped backwards a little lately. So this redirects me to keep moving forward in the work. Thank you so much.