I felt the same way about mine. We both worked in the same field, liked the same kind of music, had the same type of introverted, quiet, passive, calm personalities, same hobbies, same type of pasts, etc. We had physical chemistry that I've never had with anyone. We both have high IQs and understood each other.

But his issues make a relationship impossible. If he feels about me the way he said, then he should be willing to deal w/ his issues to fix this. He should be fighting for me. And he's not.

I joined a dating site yesterday and I'm moving on, trying to meet new people. Not ready to date yet but I at least want to start talking to and meeting new people.

i get my higher power involved and then get really confused in the head...like isn't this meant to be?? isn't he in my life for a reason???

have you ever had the perfecct job and an excellent interview and didn't get the job??? these things really confuse me too.

what is the purpose of this???

and then i remember that we have choices to make every day. and the choices that support our best interests and self care and demonstrate self respect and self love are the ones i believe are really in line with what my HP wants for me.......

just another part of the great mystery i guess...

i just saw a post on Facebook this morning that said "everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions" i had to laugh.......

sometimes what we want or like or are attracted to is not in our best interest..........our brains have a way of rationalizing things i think that are meant to test us or mirror us or reflect how we feel about ourselves or teach us lessons.

"i just saw a post on Facebook this morning that said "everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions" i had to laugh....... sometimes what we want or like or are attracted to is not in our best interest..........our brains have a way of rationalizing things i think that are meant to test us or mirror us or reflect how we feel about ourselves or teach us lessons."

i love this.

I think finn you have a point here....its about reflection. Agent and Miss talk about all the similar characteristics in the person they are attracted to - we like people like us, so doesn't it follow that maybe the things that are not so positive like, not feeling good enough, feeling unlovable, etc, etc, is also reflected in that relationship. So if we work on those things that we discover need more work, like self believe, self worth and acceptance maybe then we would find someone who will reflect that in our relationships - I wonder what that would feel like???

in coaching we say you spot it you got it......

wink.

It's ok missmom, I have had that very feeling before, just know that even tho it seemed perfect for you, he doesn't deserve you because ultimately he is an idiot.

Tell yourself instead, I am a wonderful woman, I deserve a loving man, and he will find me and I will be ready; smarter, tougher and most importantly, confident.

:)

Your soul mate is not the person you feel the most profound connection with, it's the person who meets your needs. (I just made that up! :D)

Someone mentioned Ross Rossenberg in another post....if found this and I thought it summed things up really well (for me anyway)

http://humanmagnetsyndrome.com/codependency-dont-dance-ross-rosenbergs-codependency-essay/

^ Lally, I can really relate to that.

I love ALL your responses. You ladies are so legit, it's not even funny.

Bubble - lol, yup, he must be an idiot huh?

Lally and Finn - I had to reread what you both wrote a few times. My God, yes. I keep talking about my ex and his issues with emotional blockage. It's a no brainer that he's emotionally unavailable. But dude, SO AM I!
We gravitated towards each other because we both had walls up. They sporadically came down every now and then but essentially, he wasn't in it like I was. Obviously. I think he may have wanted to love me but just couldn't get past his own bullshit so projected all of it on me. NOT FAIR.
I need to get healthy so I can attract and keep healthy. Except you know what? I don't particularly feel attraction for healthy, it kinda bores me. There is no challenge, no excitement. Herein lies the problem.
God, I need help

Ya missmom, same here! I think that's called a "love avoidant".

I think we have to accept that theses guys that we are attracted to, the complicated, aloof guys are just not an option for us. Maybe the way we feel for them is not really love but a kind of anxious excitement, challenge etc, which is a very addictive feeling. Maybe we have to always just categorically stay away from those guys and accept a less exciting but healthier option.

:(