That's exactly what I think, harmony. All they know is abuse. Therefore his invitation, typical confusing mixed message, was exactly that. "Come a little closer so I can slap you again" - 'cuz that's all they know. Stick to your boundaries to keep yourself safe (physically, emotionally, spiritually).

The best thing to do is stay away from him. Easier said than done, I know. I need to heed my own advice and will from this day forward. It's been five days of NC for me and each time I fall down I start the cycle all over again. Each time I have to start over with the hurt and urges to reach out to him. You deserve so much more. In one of the other posts SusyP mentions that NC isn't about making them miss us and that's so true. It's the only way we can heal. NC is for us! Ignore the mixed messages from him. It will be hard but you can do it. I know you can. You deserve someone that doesn't make you analyze what they mean. That's not a satisfying relationship. It can't be. Hold strong and don't look back.

I agree with Imp04a2010. I don't think you should analyze what he means, The important thing is to stay no contact. If you let him get a foot in the door, you will be starting the cycle over again.

I agree with the ladies above. Remain NC..Mine sent me an email telling me I was a great mother and woman and to have a great mothers day..hoping Im well. NC here...it hurts I wont lie..but each day I nurure myself a little more, focus on me more each day...a little less on him...focus on you...I know it is hard take it one ay at a time. HUGS

Stay NC Merrylegsmom ... and, when the going gets tougher ... as se know it WILL ... remind yourself that he DOES know that you are an awesome mother and woman! If you were truly not worthy of ANY attention from him (which is, of course, entirely FALSE!), he would not send you the message.

They are always fishing to see if you are an available source of supply. Period. Paragraph ending. Don't be one. Any reply is supply to them. Just stay away and concentrate on your healing. You are doing great.

They love to drop little word bombs that you make you wonder and waste your energy on what it could possibly mean. Channel that energy else where. They ar enot worth it. It is more beneficial to go bang your head against a brickwall then to try to figure them out. At least is the pain is immediate when you are banging it against a brick wall and you will stop the damage sooner then when you are tangling with the disordered. ..

I know you are all right in what you say im staying strong with the NC i have come along way in my healing i actually feel happy at times again whereas not so long ago i didnt think i could ever find a way out of the darkness.NC is the only way.

I also agree with the ladies above, NC is going to be the hardest way, but it's the only way. I'm new at this and I've only been two and a half weeks into my NC. I've had my good days and my bad days but you must not give in and try and contact him. This is for YOUR own good, the only one that is losing out is him! You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for, he is not what you should be concentrating on, you need to be getting on the road to a healthy and happier YOU! And yes he was hoping that you would weaken, they ALL do. The best defense we have against men like "them" is, NC and working on getting back to caring for ourselves, loving us more than we love them. You can do this! Much love and hugs!!!

Thank you ladies for reminding me that all of this is part of the charade. This site helped me identify that when I received the message.. Interestingly enough, I was amazed at how much in common these NPD have with one another. Again, this site showing me the light. I was listening to old voicemails he left after I caught him cheating.. of course the typical I am crazy I imagined it, I am way off blah blah.. but at the end of the one message he said..I hope you don't go sleep with someone else. WOW..relistening to this made me acutely aware of this game they play...Goes like this..I can fool around on you, I can lie to you, I can get drunk and treat you badly, make up and love on you and treat you like gold and tell you no one would ever love you like I do...then I can cheat on you get caught in the act, totally deny it and then ask you not to sleep with anyone else..because I am sociopathic, selfish, heartless N. Thanks ladies all these posts allowed me to see it so blatantly.. One day I will wake up not feeling a pit in my stomach...I am crawiling out slowly...hugs to all

Just let him text, call, whatever... do not reply, do not read the messages, do not pay any attention to him. I have been NC for 6 weeks now (the longest I have ever been) and it does get easier with time. He hasn't tried to contact him (thank God!) but now I know that God took him away from me to make ME healthier, happier and find myself. Enjoy your time without the crazy ups and downs, do things for YOU instead of for him. These type of men do not deserve any of us, we are great and strong.