Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I've managed a few weeks now of NC. I've had my weak moments, like needing to talk about him incessantly to friends and asking, almost begging, friends to let me know what he's been doing on Facebook with his new woman. They've been doing lots of exciting things apparently and he loves his 'baby'. So unlike him - the man who hated intimacy. Or was it just with me? My self esteem is at an all time low as he seems to be achieving the love and intimacy that he said he could never have with me. I am such a strong person in so many other areas of my life - work, academia, social etc. But with regards him I feel weak and useless, still reeling from the abusive texts telling me I'm an ugly, fat c**t and hoping me and my cats die of cancer. Such abuse. But I think of the good times and miss him. I think how lonely I am and miss him. And if something interesting happens I still immediately wish I could share it with him. I wish I didn't feel this way and I feel so pathetic. It's slowly getting easier but I often have setbacks that put me back to square one. I so wish I was out the other side of this and that I no longer missed him.
your brain is telling you lies!!! it wasn't just you. you did NOTHING wrong!! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! you did nothing to deserve to be called an ugly fat c word. someone i think swelsha said when i first got here that the best revenge is healthy living (and thriving)
i certainly can't maintain this and this love addiction is the mac daddy of them all for me but try to keep the focus in a healthy place and that is on your own recovery......
don't believe the lies your addiction is telling you!!! you are not ugly!! you ARE strong!! so glad you've reached out!! that's another strength you have on your side. none of us can do this alone......
He said terrible, terrible things to you and if there's any way you can try to hold onto the idea that only a cruel individual would do such a thing, perhaps that will help remind you why he is NO GOOD for you. Ask yourself this question: Why would I want to align myself with someone who makes me feel bad?
I also hope you will consider the possibility of refraining from asking your mutual friends about him and what he's doing. I noticed I would do that with my ex, but it NEVER left me feeling good. In fact, it made me feel like absolute crap.
Time to start focusing on you and what's best for your happiness, well being and healing. :)
You have faced a lot in the past few months--the loss of your relationship, his instantly re-partnering and seeming 'fixed' and his abuse. What person would not be struggling still?
This is truly stuff that pulls us from the ashes.
Thinking of you.
I am trying to focus on me, I really am. Some days I just don't feel like I've any me left to focus on.
I've just been through all of that, he deleted me and then I blocked him and that is when my recovery, acceptance really started to kick in. Honestly, It's no longer any of my business what he is doing in his life. And I just don't want to know, don't need to know because it will only hurt me.
Hugs and love
I really don't know what my ex is doing....But I expect really he is either lost in a bottle of prescription pills or busy getting his ego stroked by another unsuspecting woman who thinks he really is who he is presenting himself to be....poor girl....I know for a fact how I loved him....and no woman will ever be able to follow that....and I am done. I miss him and everything that WAS spectacular but I know ....all the good was indeed an illusion and I know who he is.....and he will definitely be that to the next woman too.....
And your ex probably will be too. He is who he is .....even with the next woman. Remember that.