Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Jeez my husband is the most negative put-down man I have ever met. I know this site isnt about Assclowns but I have to vent, sorry girls!
Not only did he tell me last night that if I just lay still during sex he would be able to perform better (!) and I would achieve orgasm better....! ....'you just leave it to me darling' he says.
I did tell him that him growling at me to' hurry up and come' was a bit off putting but...not his fault, its mine for not coming!!! OMG!
I was so shocked how he thought that was a decent thing to say. I was speechless.
The time he is reffering to is because I was squirming trying to get him to hit the spot - I was so frustrated. But according to him its all my own fault!
No idea how to respond to that.
and then he tutted and rolled his eyes at how useless I am at completing an application form for a house we hope to rent. in his eyes I did it all wrong.
Its not that he comes out and says I am rubbish or useless, its the way he looks and tuts and walks off shaking his head. He does it to everyone, the last person who worked with him in the office had to leave as her self-esteem was so beaten down she was in tears nearly every day - thats exactly what he does to me!!!
How do I let him make me feel that way!
Gawd...jeez.
so cross with myself.
Not only did he tell me last night that if I just lay still during sex he would be able to perform better (!) and I would achieve orgasm better....! ....'you just leave it to me darling' he says.
I did tell him that him growling at me to' hurry up and come' was a bit off putting but...not his fault, its mine for not coming!!! OMG!
I was so shocked how he thought that was a decent thing to say. I was speechless.
The time he is reffering to is because I was squirming trying to get him to hit the spot - I was so frustrated. But according to him its all my own fault!
No idea how to respond to that.
and then he tutted and rolled his eyes at how useless I am at completing an application form for a house we hope to rent. in his eyes I did it all wrong.
Its not that he comes out and says I am rubbish or useless, its the way he looks and tuts and walks off shaking his head. He does it to everyone, the last person who worked with him in the office had to leave as her self-esteem was so beaten down she was in tears nearly every day - thats exactly what he does to me!!!
How do I let him make me feel that way!
Gawd...jeez.
so cross with myself.
And as far as him not coming straight out and calling you names, it took mine 15 yrs before he started doing that, so don't be surprised if it happens one day. I've heard it all...I'm a bad mother, stupid, cheater, stealing his money, you name it. Sometimes I'm surprised when he comes up with something new, I thought i heard it all! It's usually always said in the context of him feeling sorry for himself because he ended up with me and how everyone around him is using him in some way. It used to really bother me, but not so much any more. Now that he gets no reaction, he complains that I don't care about him anymore. Go figure.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes I still get bothered by what he says. I just refuse to REACT. That's what he wants. Just this morning he blamed me for his business going bad......I don't work for him, never did. He forced me to quit my job 25 years ago because he wanted me to stay home. I didn't answer, I rolled my eyes at him at walked out of the room mid sentence after I realized what he was saying because I don't want to hear it anymore. But now I'm going to go exercise and blow off some steam. Try that, it's a distraction and it makes you feel better.
I am dealing with something similar in my relationship. Everything is about me, his good, his bad, it all depends on my behavior. At first, I believed him and I tried to do what he said would bring out the best in him. All I did was make myself crazy. Now, I am practicing the do nothing, say nothing. I don't do or say anything that I did in the past to manipulate him. Also I don't play the game whatever he says, whatever he does all I can say is "ok". What it has done is make him focus on his self and I have to focus on myself.