Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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Missmom75 08/19/2014

I feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes. There is no risk that I’ll contact him, I don’t have any urges that I can’t handle. More and more I can’t even imagine a future with him.
But the thoughts are incessant, the memories, the what ifs, the images of us happily together. Everything reminds me of him, everything is connected to him, everything hurts.
I need some relief. I know it’s no good, I have no hopes to reunite with him, I’m not trying to figure him out or deciphering what went wrong– I’m not looking for signs, in fact, all I want is for time to pass real quick so I can be good in my skin again. So I can find genuine comfort in daily stuff. So I can wake up without that dull ache and dread for yet another day of messy thoughts. It’s maddening. I feel like I’m eons away from normalcy. I just want my simple little life with my simple little thoughts back.
Any help is appreciated

finnmyway 08/19/2014

SMIRB is my best advice. this helps me regularly. i'll bump the thread again.......... try it?????

flteach8 08/19/2014

I was ruminating like crazy at the beginning and now slowly the thoughts are not as incessant. I can go longer periods of time without thinking about him. I am going to look into what fin posted above. For me what has worked is just time and when I am busy doing something that occupies my mind then I won't think about him as often.

Missmom75 08/19/2014

How long has it been since it ended, flteach?

flteach8 08/19/2014

We ended in Feb after 12 yrs and the last time I heard from him was in April. At the end of May I found out he was in a relationship already. It completely destroyed me because even though I told him I needed to move on I still had hope that things would be okay. I was REALLY bad for several weeks. I mean obsessive ruminating, uncontrollable sobbing, wanting to die. I chose to go on antidepressants because I couldn't get off the couch. I would say that it has been maybe four weeks or so now that I am not thinking of him 24/7. When I do think of him it's almost like I get paralyzed. I stop dead in my tracks, my mind wanders, and I can't breath. Then it goes away.
I still have days where I don't think I can make it, but I want to be stronger than that. I cry when I am alone, and I'm okay with that. I just feel the emotions when they come. Right now my thinking is not so much about the relationship but about the fact that he is with someone else and sleeping with someone else. That is something that I need to talk to my therapist about. I know it isn't healthy to be thinking of that all the time.

Missmom75 08/19/2014

oh girl, give yourself a break.

I think you're handling much better than I am and my silly little thing doesn't merit a single tear.

You're doing amazingly ((((hugs))))

flteach8 08/19/2014

thanks- one thing that has helped me which maybe you have tried is writing down all of the bad things he did to me. I went back in my journals and wrote it all down in a timeline format. When I have my down days I just whip the papers out, read them, and then I can think more clearly.

Missmom75 08/19/2014

yes that is very helpful. Keeps me grounded.

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