Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
So I posted on here not too long ago about how even though I had no contact with my ex in a yr I had a crazy experience where I knew he was really really upset & it really messed with my head. Well the very next week I found out my beloved 20yr old cat Twizzler was in heart failure due to cancer. Last sunday I had to put him to sleep & it was just all too much !!! I contacted the ex. I have to give the man credit after not a word from me for a yr he still was totally there for me without a question. However I realized I felt different this time. I did not feel overwhelmed with love & missing him when I saw him again, just happy & peaceful that he was there for me. So we have been talking again & I have wondered how it would go but again I have not been obsessed about it. It was same old same old from him . He's doing great he's changed a lot in the last year he's not drinking "as much" lol . I already knew this ment all was exactly the same. However I realize im ok with all that. I fully understand its his issues & hes NEVER going to change . Its really NOT MY PROBABLEM !!!! Im sad for him but have no intrest in trying to tell him about it. I have no thought at all in trying to save him from himself even for the sake of his daughter which was a big part of it all for me. I feel that I am now to a point that I accept 100% that he is like he is & that's all there is too it !!! We were friends way before we became more & I feel at this point that the time has finally come that I am very ok with just friends with him.I am grateful he was here for me as a friend when I needed him. However I no longer long for more from him knowing I'll never get it. I feel that I am finally at a point I can MOVE ON !!!!!!
it happened for me too...i unhooked with separation...now he doesn't mean the same to me even though i still love him and care about him...
Finn - I honestly have no idea how I got here !!! The thing is somehow seeing him again is what made me realize this. I'm not sure I would have gotten there without seeing him again. I know I had started to realize that I missed the friendship we had more than anything recently so I'm guessing that is part of it . However I still thought I was in love with him & in all honesty was still obsessing about him & the drinking & all that just a few months ago. Then I finally thought I was doing better & boom the whole I know he is hurting right now thing happened & it got WORSE . I think part is that yes it IS a relief to talk to him again. I have honestly been fighting it for a year. I just don't know what really happened to change it for me. I just know when he was here I felt different & so far I have been fine with everything :)
hbscrubgal- I'm not sure he will ever be seriously seeing someone else honestly. I don't think he's capable of it. He actually got married while we were together & supposedly is getting divorced soon. Its a long story but he didn't love her it was about custody of his daughter. He has girlfriends said he had one when he was here that night but broke up with her the next day. Do I think it had to do with me nope not at all ! Did I care he had one nope not at all. IDK if that makes me bad or not but I just know him. He swore he was faithful with me & maybe he was I cant say for sure. However sadly the bar is his only real wife & that will never change. Do I still love & care about him yes I do. However I am no longer IN love with him & I do understand his issues are his own & I cant do anything about them. :)