Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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/ Women who Love too Much Support Group

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Missmom75
Missmom75
This is where I am now. I have zero interest in exerting any effort in the prospect of a relationship. I don't even want to express interest, much less show it. or feel it. I feel complete disgust for M, so much so that when I see his vehicle around town, I go the other way. I'm so grateful that I finally saw his true colours and that it happened right on time for me to flush him out of my system before teh holidays. Last year's holidays were horrible. He made plans without me for both Christmas and new years. He planned a New Year's party with his whole family, even asked me to make a CD for him for the party. Like a fool I did it. I think he texted me twice that night, and one of which was a mass text to all his contacts at midnight, wishing happy new year. How pathetic. I was miserable. I could not be present, I short-changed my son...all for one piece of garbage.
NOT THIS YEAR! I'm happy to report that I have a list this long of sweets I plan to bake, and I can't wait to put up the tree and wrap gifts. This year I'm in the here and now like never before. How many chances do we get in life? I wasted so much time and energy.

Love to all you guys xoxoxoxox
goingup
goingup
Congratulations on all your progress XD Life is so much better without these guys...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Congratulations Missmom. I'm so happy for you. I wish I was where you are.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey Miss, good to see you are doing good. I am also trying to focus on me and finding pleasure in doing things, my kids and just being still and accepting.

The only thing I wish for is to magically wash away the icky memories of the ways I shortchanged myself and gave so much.

xoxox
Chancenme
Chancenme
Hi missmom75!! I was in the same place you were last year! Waiting around and letting it ruin my holidays! I didn't even enjoy watching my son open his gifts. I cried all day everyday. That's why I decided this year to end my toxic relationship before the holidays because I don't ever want to wonder if I'm spending the holidays with someone I loved knowing that I was never a part of his plan. Enjoy this time of the year with the people you love and good for you for letting go of the others!
Missmom75
Missmom75
Thank you ladies. It's good to know there's progress happening here.
I just came to a point where I looked around me and saw how much I'd been missing and all for something so worthless and pointless.
Notyet, I really hope you get to a good place and soon, you've wasted too much. No judgement, just love and hope for you.
Bubbles, the memories will become fewer and further between, trust me. My memories of him are now so odd...like they're not my own. Like someone else lived those moments with him. Just goes to show how so not myself I was with him. It took some time but honest to God, no contact saved me. It's the ONLY way to gain perspective, the only way for any hope for clarity. I need to say this to those who are trying different methods: You are fooling yourself if you think you'll get over him while still in contact. It just won't happen. Please do yourselves a favor and stay away.
xo
swelsha
swelsha
I feel the same way missmom. Relationship? No thank you. It's been years since I enjoyed the holidays. I don't know what christmas will be like this year, but at least i'm not sitting around waiting for nothing. I still have much more anger than I would like. Acceptance is the key for me. Glad you're doing better. I know what a struggle it has been for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Missmom, I know I've wasted too much. But I'm not as strong as you are. I prefer to stick to "the relationship will take care of itself" concept (by the book, which does not advertise no contact at all). I'm not strong enough to stay away. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Missmom75
Missmom75
Waiting for nothing is right swelsha...GOD what a waste!
Notyet, I'm not sure what you mean 'by the relationship will take care of itself' Or that is even a concept at all. At any rate, I do think you'll eventually get tired of waiting for nothing, as we all have, and you'll find the strength to move on. This is a sad existence.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's in the book "Women who Love too Much." One of the steps to recovery is to get help.The author says that it does not mean that you have to break up with your partner or to go no contact. She says that while you heal, the relationship will take care of itself. This is what I meant.
I got tired of waiting for nothing a million times. But since I have been waiting all my life and because I have still not lost hope, I keep on waiting. This is a sad existence. I agree with you.
Missmom75
Missmom75
What helped me is changing my dialogue. Inner and outer. I started with my outer dialogue, I would stop saying things that did not serve me right and started saying things that did, even if I didn't believe them in that moment. In time I did start to believe them and in turn, my inner dialogue changed as well. In order for things to change, we have to get off that beaten path in our brain. Change the thought process. I've said this here before, cognitive therapy is so so essential for this sort of thing and I really think you could benefit from this Notyet. Something's gotta give.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know what you mean about saying thing that serve me right. It does help a little. I'm trying to get off the beaten path with the help of my therapist but it's not easy.
Missmom75
Missmom75
Nothing is easy. You can do this. keep at it. You will feel so much better and good things will start to happen.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I already feel better. I'm far from feeling good but I feel better. What he does or says still has some power over me and I still act like a schoolgirl with other men but I feel a little better.