Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I have a young daughter, the product of a bad relationship.
he continues to fight me, try to hurt me, and i am scared for her that he hates me so much, and is so consumed by his own lies that he will hurt her, as he will see me in her.
im determined to break this cycle. He was a "nice guy" in diguise. dont jump at the first "nice guy" to come along.
i forced a relationship with him, kept telling myself he was good for me and that i loved him, until i did. i wasnt ready. and he took every weakness i ever had and used it against me.
but now i have this beautiful daughter, with shining eyes and sloppy kisses and hugs. and a giggle that lasts all day. who is sooo amused at the fact that she has hands and toes, and the fact she can make little fart noises with her mouth. she is so tiny still at 5 months.
our children are EVERYTHING. despite their fathers. especially the young ones.
and we women, wwltm, are stronger than we think. we have survived all these rotten no good partners. and we are MOTHERS. the greatest gift, and hardest job of all. and we wake up everyday to care for our babies.
in another post here the woman was worried about her children distancing from her because of their father.
this is something i worry about in my future. the bond i feel now.... will he affect that?
i say NO. because he will never EVER experience it. and even if my daughter walks away from me, i will always remember THIS. her little baby fingers touching my cheek. her discoveries of new things and bright eyes looking for approval. her laugh, and her wonderful toothless grin. and i will do anything, to teach her to make GOOD and balanced choices, and i have to be emotionally stable for her, so that she never ends up like me. i know its every mothers wish... and she will make her own choices. but i will not repeat the same mistakes as my mother and neglect her, and i will not continue with these empty circular derrogative relationships. never again.
i dont know what i meant to write in this topic...
but remember the babies. never forget.
cause this feeling, this wonderful pure bond.... is a feeling that makes me want to be a better person.
i think it gets lost somewhere along the way, in the hustle bustle of life, work, and ourselves.
but this... this now... is a reason to live. a purpose in being. and a reason why WE are worth loving , the right way. whatever future comes... these moments should never be forgotten, because they come so few.
and this is something no man.... whether a good father or not.... can EVER experience.men only hold the key to creation, we are the doorway, the structure, the sustenence from which life comes.
these moments are ours, and ours ALONE. our joy. whether we share it with a partner or not.
it is our right... and privelege as women to experience this. and we should hold on to these feelings in our struggles, because if we can do this, we can do anything. and for those of you that dont have children, or dont wish to have children, or are unable, you are still a woman too. and deserve the equal respect.
he continues to fight me, try to hurt me, and i am scared for her that he hates me so much, and is so consumed by his own lies that he will hurt her, as he will see me in her.
im determined to break this cycle. He was a "nice guy" in diguise. dont jump at the first "nice guy" to come along.
i forced a relationship with him, kept telling myself he was good for me and that i loved him, until i did. i wasnt ready. and he took every weakness i ever had and used it against me.
but now i have this beautiful daughter, with shining eyes and sloppy kisses and hugs. and a giggle that lasts all day. who is sooo amused at the fact that she has hands and toes, and the fact she can make little fart noises with her mouth. she is so tiny still at 5 months.
our children are EVERYTHING. despite their fathers. especially the young ones.
and we women, wwltm, are stronger than we think. we have survived all these rotten no good partners. and we are MOTHERS. the greatest gift, and hardest job of all. and we wake up everyday to care for our babies.
in another post here the woman was worried about her children distancing from her because of their father.
this is something i worry about in my future. the bond i feel now.... will he affect that?
i say NO. because he will never EVER experience it. and even if my daughter walks away from me, i will always remember THIS. her little baby fingers touching my cheek. her discoveries of new things and bright eyes looking for approval. her laugh, and her wonderful toothless grin. and i will do anything, to teach her to make GOOD and balanced choices, and i have to be emotionally stable for her, so that she never ends up like me. i know its every mothers wish... and she will make her own choices. but i will not repeat the same mistakes as my mother and neglect her, and i will not continue with these empty circular derrogative relationships. never again.
i dont know what i meant to write in this topic...
but remember the babies. never forget.
cause this feeling, this wonderful pure bond.... is a feeling that makes me want to be a better person.
i think it gets lost somewhere along the way, in the hustle bustle of life, work, and ourselves.
but this... this now... is a reason to live. a purpose in being. and a reason why WE are worth loving , the right way. whatever future comes... these moments should never be forgotten, because they come so few.
and this is something no man.... whether a good father or not.... can EVER experience.men only hold the key to creation, we are the doorway, the structure, the sustenence from which life comes.
these moments are ours, and ours ALONE. our joy. whether we share it with a partner or not.
it is our right... and privelege as women to experience this. and we should hold on to these feelings in our struggles, because if we can do this, we can do anything. and for those of you that dont have children, or dont wish to have children, or are unable, you are still a woman too. and deserve the equal respect.
You have been a huge support and inspiration while I have been on this site and I have read some of your postings and I was the one who went back and resent all those inspiration quotes out again to the top of the discussion board for the new girls to see and reread.
My point is your a tough / yet vunerable , beautiful women that should start giving herself some serious credit Chic, enough no more self doubt , our relationship dont define us or do poor choices or whatever: ,they are the stepping stones to the women we will be.
So you have a beautiful girl that will be in your life to the end .................if she always see's the real you a mother women who loves and strive s to become a higher person, What her father does or does not do he will unfortunately from the sounds of it dig his own holes. Sounds like an emotionally stunted with balls the size of raisons.
I only have a few words of advice, Stay strong , smart and be the mother you are that's More than enough ok.
There are good people around you maybe not family but sometimes the strongest real love bonds for life are our kindred spirit friends.
Men aren't write offs though just focus on you and let your friends be your nights in shinning armour and yourself.
Your Kindest + love does not go unoticed.
Follow your heart and bring your daughter along for the ride teach her you only have one life so everyday is an opportunity not to be afraid to live it.
trying daily myself.
Peace and love
Kris
He gives me hugs and tells me he loves me everyday, and he's only 2 and a half - he seems much more emotionally available and loving than his Father ever was, lol.
And I am also really aware and cautious now, after the last guy, that if/when I do bring another man in my life, he not only has to be healthy for me but for my son, cos the kids always remember.
xx
my ex got what was coming to him. and now i have a good guy in my life. was not my type. but is totally daddy. and totally there for me, whenever i need him. and he doesnt fight with me. he is stern with me when i am being irrational, and calm when i am truly upset, and will apologize, a REAL apology, if he says something to hurt me and doesnt realize it. and he takes great care of my daughter. if only i could get him to wash his laundry, and fold it. lol.
im happy today. alot got done. read the other post.
but our babies. ..... i dont know what i would do without her, she is WONDERFUL, and my whole world. its amazing someone so rotten as her father could make something so beautiful.... well i made her, but he did supply the ingredients.
You are a very bright light!! And you are soooo darn right! We have this beautiful little people who adore us and give us all the love we need unconditionally, because they know how much we love them and because we are their heroes!
My little girl this morning, made my day, when I was feeling that the world was coming down on me. That girl woked up today gave me a hug and a kiss, brushed her teeth, took a shower and got dress, like the little independent lady that she is at 4 years old. She asked me to put perfume on her as well :).
When we were on the hallway she hold my hand and we walked together to the elevator. I told her "I love you", she says "I love you too mami". That's an awesome thing to hear your child tells you that.
Because of her, my mind set this morning had to change, because I had to make her lunch and her breakfast! So my heavenly flower (the meaning of her name), makes me get strenght from where I dont think I have it and do the things I need to do. She is also, my motivation to continue and finish my education and get my degree.
And we deserve better!!! And I too will make sure that with my example, she learns to be independent, and not men take power from you. I want to teach her that she deserves to be loved and accept it as she is!
And unlike my mother, I will be encourage her to do good, and not to make her feel bad when something did not came out perfect! I will tell her is ok to try and that is ok not to be perfect.