Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
my ex from years ago, a VERY bad relationship. pretty much costed me a career. and my sanity for a long time.
i was crazy. he cheated on me, even in front of my own eyes pretty much, and i refused to believe it. i even allowed the girl to play friends with me. i went from being at the top, to the bottom becuase i allowed myself to become so depressed over him. i waited for him when he went to Iraq, even after he cheated. so... why do i pick up the phone? part of me relishes the fact that i can now see him for what he really is, to hear his lies as lies, its empowering in a way. to listen to him grovel about how i was the best that ever happened to him and he messed it up and would regret it the rest of his life. to see how he cant move on with his life now, as i have clearly moved on with mine. I dont want him anymore in the least. when i used to see him as so smart, he is now stupid to me. to think there was a time i could hardly live without him, could hardly breathe.
i came home on leave, and didnt even see my friends, to be true and loyal to him, to show he could trust me. i sat at home. when i came back, we had sex, and he insisted that i had been with someone. i cried, and pleaded, that all i did was sit at home. he choked me, and i didnt fight back, i told him i would rather die than have him not believe me that i would betray him. and i think i was pregnant then, very very early,4 weeks at most, but it was a possibility. the next day i felt nauteous, went to the bathroom, and a GIANT blood clot came out, nowhere near my period. so ive always wondered. i found out later, that another girl was on her way to the motel room that night, that he called and canceled. i had snuck out for him. i was no longer even allowed to leave base, i could have gotten in so much trouble, and i was in that trouble to begin with because of my depression and inability to focus and do my job because of him. it was ALL about him. i even took it from my family, ready to renounce everyone, because he was black and they didtnt approve, like the ever approved of anything i did anyway. but later, after i had accepted him back after a 6 month break, he was an angel to me.
i got hurt on both my knees, and he came home on leave, and carried me wherever i wanted to go, cooked for me, cleaned for me, made friends with all my friends, he was wonderful. he called when he said, wrote me emails and poetry. then there was the issue of money, he was in iraq, making over 2500 a month, and was broke, he had owed me some money, and left some signed checks and told me to use them if i needed. they all bounced. and when he came home, he was broke. he was working practically 24 hours a day, what the hell was he spending money on? then one day i get a call from his sargent to tell me that he was locked up in the brig. he called me once, wrote a letter, the seargent said it had something to do with alchohol, or drinking illegally, i said was that it? that it seemed strict for that, he started to say something then stopped himself. my ex later told me that he got drunk, got in a fight, and cracked a guys eye socket, and did not know the amount of time he would be locked up. it was over then. but i never did get the whole story.
for years he sent me letters and poems, and always wished me happy birthday.
he got out over a year ago, found me on myspace. then called, i still have the same number. once in a while i talk to him. and listen to him recant the things i used to do for him, that i would never do again.
i was crazy. he cheated on me, even in front of my own eyes pretty much, and i refused to believe it. i even allowed the girl to play friends with me. i went from being at the top, to the bottom becuase i allowed myself to become so depressed over him. i waited for him when he went to Iraq, even after he cheated. so... why do i pick up the phone? part of me relishes the fact that i can now see him for what he really is, to hear his lies as lies, its empowering in a way. to listen to him grovel about how i was the best that ever happened to him and he messed it up and would regret it the rest of his life. to see how he cant move on with his life now, as i have clearly moved on with mine. I dont want him anymore in the least. when i used to see him as so smart, he is now stupid to me. to think there was a time i could hardly live without him, could hardly breathe.
i came home on leave, and didnt even see my friends, to be true and loyal to him, to show he could trust me. i sat at home. when i came back, we had sex, and he insisted that i had been with someone. i cried, and pleaded, that all i did was sit at home. he choked me, and i didnt fight back, i told him i would rather die than have him not believe me that i would betray him. and i think i was pregnant then, very very early,4 weeks at most, but it was a possibility. the next day i felt nauteous, went to the bathroom, and a GIANT blood clot came out, nowhere near my period. so ive always wondered. i found out later, that another girl was on her way to the motel room that night, that he called and canceled. i had snuck out for him. i was no longer even allowed to leave base, i could have gotten in so much trouble, and i was in that trouble to begin with because of my depression and inability to focus and do my job because of him. it was ALL about him. i even took it from my family, ready to renounce everyone, because he was black and they didtnt approve, like the ever approved of anything i did anyway. but later, after i had accepted him back after a 6 month break, he was an angel to me.
i got hurt on both my knees, and he came home on leave, and carried me wherever i wanted to go, cooked for me, cleaned for me, made friends with all my friends, he was wonderful. he called when he said, wrote me emails and poetry. then there was the issue of money, he was in iraq, making over 2500 a month, and was broke, he had owed me some money, and left some signed checks and told me to use them if i needed. they all bounced. and when he came home, he was broke. he was working practically 24 hours a day, what the hell was he spending money on? then one day i get a call from his sargent to tell me that he was locked up in the brig. he called me once, wrote a letter, the seargent said it had something to do with alchohol, or drinking illegally, i said was that it? that it seemed strict for that, he started to say something then stopped himself. my ex later told me that he got drunk, got in a fight, and cracked a guys eye socket, and did not know the amount of time he would be locked up. it was over then. but i never did get the whole story.
for years he sent me letters and poems, and always wished me happy birthday.
he got out over a year ago, found me on myspace. then called, i still have the same number. once in a while i talk to him. and listen to him recant the things i used to do for him, that i would never do again.
deleted_user
Well it sounds like you can talk to him w/o getting yourself worked up so no apparent harm, but why bother talking to a pathological? He is as predicatable as Sandra Brown states. Once they have us in their cell phone, we are never off the rotation. The fact that you take his calls simply gives him a rush thinkin that you are available supply. Yuck.
Dracona
Its very rarely, and usually from a number i do not know. i guess it was curiosity. i guess sometimes i like listening to lies knowing they are lies, cause before i would have believed them, and i know that ill never believe them again. I shouldnt talk to him at all. i pretty sure i wont answer any more of his calls. its usually once a year or so. i think i got the area code down, so from that area code it can just go to voicemail.
Join the Conversation