So, I've acknowledged I'm a co dependent, after years of just thinking I'm lousy at relationships. I've loved fiercely and I've tried to please. I now know that's to do with me wanting to control and manipulate the relationship and situations. I acknowledge it's not all my fault and I've been attracted to weak men who I think I can help or alcoholic, narcissists or men who are more attached to their bloody mothers than another woman. I've been in so much pain over my last relationship and, despite his behaviour and emotional abuse, I've wanted him back desperately, particularly when I hear he's so seemingly happy with his new woman. But I'm trying so hard now to try and heal. I'm reading all the relevant literature and I've even looked fir a CODA group, though unfortunately there are none near me - there are actually less than 20 CODA groups in the whole of the uK. So my question is, if what I've thought was normal throughout my adult life, isn't, then what is? I just thought I was suffering from a broken heart and this was the pain in getting over it. So what am I meant to feel in normal relationships? how am I meant to act? If a normal relationship ends, how does a non codependent act and feel? Anyone have any answers? I want to start to be normal!