Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
ok... its getting close. i told him my move out date... depending on if i get my checks. at first he's ok with it, admitting his mistakes... then he isnt, then he is begging me to stay, none of which is changing my mind...
he goes from saying thats alot of money, you should stay, ill sleep on the couch, to you are suppossed to be helping me, and you are taking that money out the house. i havent touched him, or wanted to, since i found out he was lying to me. that is the boundry, that you never cross with me. NO blatant lies. none. he doesnt understand. i DONT CARE if you were just watching movies with her, or doing the dirty with her, YOU LIED TO ME. i think its FUNNY how he keeps saying just trust me, after he LIED to me. ive been doing really good about not letting him get to me, but he got to me today. i didnt want to do anything all weekend, i wanted a lazy weekend with me and my daughter, so i didnt, i didnt get dressed, i didnt get up... i just played with her and napped. he was there all weekend. he wouldnt leave. ugh.. i just went about my business like normal. he was trying to be nice. well today comes around, and he is getting ready for church, asks to take my daughter so she can play. i said no i had plans and wasnt too sure how much i wanted her in church just yet or how i felt about it. i had let him take her one time before, because i needed sleep so badly between work and school. well he flipped, got pissed. said i never let him do anything with her, that they dont even talk about jesus. then flips to... so any kid i have with you will not be in church...? i cant do this, im done with you, you can get out today, ill call the cops and have them escort you out. i just sat there and said whatever. he then says how much you need? ill go get a loan so you can get out today. says, hey, fuck off, then walks away, then comes back like, is this what you really want? you really dont want us? you really never loved me then... everyone always leaves, no one sticks by me. JOKES on him, ive heard this song and dance before and it was old before it started. now if anything, it PISSES ME OFF. he said, its done, its over, leave it be, let me fix it. im telling him he cant fix it, damage done, i dont believe a word he says now. then he stretches his arm out, and says come here crazy butt, all i wanted was a hug and it hurt my feelings when you didnt give it to me. i still said no, then he smiles, and jumps on me, kissing me, i pushed him and wouldnt kiss him back, he keeps kissing me... and is like oh stop. then gets up and says im sorry for saying fuck off to you, it hurt me, i apologize, im gonna be beating myself up for it all day. then heads out the door.
like seriously? UGH. and there is something inside me, that is very protective of the weak, or even of the world i feel, and i want to just rip him into a million pieces. he is lucky im a mommy cause if i didnt have her to worry about i might just do such a thing. like they REALLY DONT GET IT. they are incapable of change, because they are INSANE and incapable of understanding simple things. like this... YOU LIED TO ME, YOU HURT ME, IM LEAVING, AND IM ANGRY LEAVE ME ALONE. his rationalization is... i know i did, and i was wrong, i love you and talk about you all the time, everyone see's how happy i am, i am so close to achieving my goals, to be the first in my family with a college degree. because ive been so happy at home, i understand i hurt you, but i need your help. everyone leaves me. NO, im not going to counseling, and if you leave its over, just stay. i already fixed it, i dont talk to her anymore, you heard when she called yesterday, she hung up on me (after asking him for forty bucks for a new cell phone) UGH im so annoyed. he makes himself sound so innocent. yah, they are best friends, they cuddle and watch movies together... WITHOUT THE OK OF THE GIRLFRIEND. ugh.
A REAL MAN, would never make the same mistake to begin with, and even if he did, he would own up to it, and let me be, and if he was serious about making it up to me, he would let me go, let me have my space, and then try to prove to me through fixing himself and doign what it takes. knowing that there may never be a chance to be ok again. the 7th cant come soon enough... or whenever my checks get here... i need them asap. sick of this, this will drive me insane.
nice guys dont threaten to call the cops on people simply because they are upset and consider being upset an excuse to their actions. yuck. i wanna barf.
he goes from saying thats alot of money, you should stay, ill sleep on the couch, to you are suppossed to be helping me, and you are taking that money out the house. i havent touched him, or wanted to, since i found out he was lying to me. that is the boundry, that you never cross with me. NO blatant lies. none. he doesnt understand. i DONT CARE if you were just watching movies with her, or doing the dirty with her, YOU LIED TO ME. i think its FUNNY how he keeps saying just trust me, after he LIED to me. ive been doing really good about not letting him get to me, but he got to me today. i didnt want to do anything all weekend, i wanted a lazy weekend with me and my daughter, so i didnt, i didnt get dressed, i didnt get up... i just played with her and napped. he was there all weekend. he wouldnt leave. ugh.. i just went about my business like normal. he was trying to be nice. well today comes around, and he is getting ready for church, asks to take my daughter so she can play. i said no i had plans and wasnt too sure how much i wanted her in church just yet or how i felt about it. i had let him take her one time before, because i needed sleep so badly between work and school. well he flipped, got pissed. said i never let him do anything with her, that they dont even talk about jesus. then flips to... so any kid i have with you will not be in church...? i cant do this, im done with you, you can get out today, ill call the cops and have them escort you out. i just sat there and said whatever. he then says how much you need? ill go get a loan so you can get out today. says, hey, fuck off, then walks away, then comes back like, is this what you really want? you really dont want us? you really never loved me then... everyone always leaves, no one sticks by me. JOKES on him, ive heard this song and dance before and it was old before it started. now if anything, it PISSES ME OFF. he said, its done, its over, leave it be, let me fix it. im telling him he cant fix it, damage done, i dont believe a word he says now. then he stretches his arm out, and says come here crazy butt, all i wanted was a hug and it hurt my feelings when you didnt give it to me. i still said no, then he smiles, and jumps on me, kissing me, i pushed him and wouldnt kiss him back, he keeps kissing me... and is like oh stop. then gets up and says im sorry for saying fuck off to you, it hurt me, i apologize, im gonna be beating myself up for it all day. then heads out the door.
like seriously? UGH. and there is something inside me, that is very protective of the weak, or even of the world i feel, and i want to just rip him into a million pieces. he is lucky im a mommy cause if i didnt have her to worry about i might just do such a thing. like they REALLY DONT GET IT. they are incapable of change, because they are INSANE and incapable of understanding simple things. like this... YOU LIED TO ME, YOU HURT ME, IM LEAVING, AND IM ANGRY LEAVE ME ALONE. his rationalization is... i know i did, and i was wrong, i love you and talk about you all the time, everyone see's how happy i am, i am so close to achieving my goals, to be the first in my family with a college degree. because ive been so happy at home, i understand i hurt you, but i need your help. everyone leaves me. NO, im not going to counseling, and if you leave its over, just stay. i already fixed it, i dont talk to her anymore, you heard when she called yesterday, she hung up on me (after asking him for forty bucks for a new cell phone) UGH im so annoyed. he makes himself sound so innocent. yah, they are best friends, they cuddle and watch movies together... WITHOUT THE OK OF THE GIRLFRIEND. ugh.
A REAL MAN, would never make the same mistake to begin with, and even if he did, he would own up to it, and let me be, and if he was serious about making it up to me, he would let me go, let me have my space, and then try to prove to me through fixing himself and doign what it takes. knowing that there may never be a chance to be ok again. the 7th cant come soon enough... or whenever my checks get here... i need them asap. sick of this, this will drive me insane.
nice guys dont threaten to call the cops on people simply because they are upset and consider being upset an excuse to their actions. yuck. i wanna barf.
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