I am so sorry. You deserve so much more. I don't think they will ever realize what they are screwing up. Sounds so familiar. He would pick a fight before he would leave. Did the same thing this time, but used my Grandmother's death as an excuse for our break up. So sorry.

Dracona, let him go, you will never heal in this situation.... as we have said before, you and your daughter deserve so much more. Use this month when he is away to really look inside your heart and be still and listen to the answers to those impossibly difficult questions you must ask yourself. Be brave and strong (((((((((((hugs)))))))))

I'm with 2butterfly. That relationship is already gone. You're holding onto a fantasy that will never happen. Use the month to cut all ties. Move on girl. Screw all that angst and drama.

The worst part is... I know all this! Know it so well... I know what i have to do but im tired. Tired and worn out. Dealing with health issues... School... So much. Just trying to find the energy to do what I need to. Im tired of the invalidation. And im angry. Im angry and hurt and its amplified by the ptsd. I got to get away. I cant live like this.

Yes. The fantasy. That we overcome our obtacles and can sit on a porch together saying we made it. I dont want this sacrifice. Its been 2 years. 2 years of an emotional rollercoaster. Its never the same thing. One thing after another after another. Always different. And always due to his lack of consideration for my . feelings. Im always considerate of him. I deserve the same. There is no way to make this better.

allow yourself to regroup while he is away. you can spend it "surviving" and waiting for him to come home for some more bullshit OR you can take charge and use this as an opportunity to get strong and healthy and clean about what you're going to do. proactive.

we get beaten down and battered and exhausted. usually we get stuck there and have to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and make decisions from that awful place. you have AN OPPORTUNITY, a GIFT of time and space from this.

you do not need money to move on....what you deserve is a self that will kick some ass and take your power back and make some proactive decisions for yourself and your daughter, especially your daughter. you deserve self respect.... not his consideration. you actually don't deserve that from him. no one does. b/c he is not considerate. you can't fall in love with someone who is inconsiderate and selfish and demand he be those things for you. you aren't entitled i guess i'm saying. put the focus on your daughter and get out. this is your chance to get out.

Part of it just feels so not real. like its not really happening again. I have to keep making the list of everything he has done vs why I want to stay and what he has done for me, to convince myself it is real.

Yes, keep making that list. That is what abusive behaviors do, they make you doubt your own perceptions.