Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I cant get over this overwhelming loneliness. it hits me every now and then. I'm a 40yr old divorced mother of two. The narc was a 31 yr old model/actor/rapper/concert promoter/factory worker....no really. I was so pleasantly surprised that he wanted to be qith MEof all the women he could have had. He charmed me like no one ever had. Took me to meet the family. etc. Made me forget that he was just coming out of a marriage himself. made the wife out to be a monster of course and i was the one he chose to find love with after such a horrific situation.
Now i find out it was a 2yr con. i keep telling myself i should have known he wouldnt want me. thinking of how he began to look at me. like he despised me. like i made him sick. how he doesnt acknowledge that i even exist . anymore . how he told me he wasnt ready to move in but has already moved in with her. no text, no calls, no im sorry. nothing. how that day i caught the girl at his house and he opened the door like nothing was wrong. he insulted me in front of her, told me he never wanted to see me again. and asked HER was she ok! we lease a vuilding together and he is not paying his part of the bills anymore. like i never was. i want to cut him and watch him bleed....slowly. so he can somehow feel the pain he has caused...
i feel like everyone is saying i knew he couldnt really want her, smh. im such a fool....
Now i find out it was a 2yr con. i keep telling myself i should have known he wouldnt want me. thinking of how he began to look at me. like he despised me. like i made him sick. how he doesnt acknowledge that i even exist . anymore . how he told me he wasnt ready to move in but has already moved in with her. no text, no calls, no im sorry. nothing. how that day i caught the girl at his house and he opened the door like nothing was wrong. he insulted me in front of her, told me he never wanted to see me again. and asked HER was she ok! we lease a vuilding together and he is not paying his part of the bills anymore. like i never was. i want to cut him and watch him bleed....slowly. so he can somehow feel the pain he has caused...
i feel like everyone is saying i knew he couldnt really want her, smh. im such a fool....
From the sounds of things with this guy, you will soon be thanking your lucky stars he is now some other woman's problem. He probably cannot feel the pain he has caused because he has no heart or compassion.
Eventually, you will start to recover and feel better. He will always be his soulless, havoc wreaking self. I would be willing to bet you were the best thing that ever happened to him but he was not the best thing that ever happened to you. I also expect that most people were NOT thinking "he couldn't really want her," anybody who knew anything was probably thinking "why is a woman as awesome as her with that loser?"
Hang in there, I know it is rough now but soon enough you will not feel so bad and without his toxic influence will even start to feel good.
The loneliness I also feel,I am 37with 2young children,like you I just can't imagine someone ever wanting me ,I look around and think every woman is far better....luckily I don't know what my ex is up to and quite frankly I don't want to know !!!!!
Try and take each day ,I also wanted to cause him pain ....but people like him don't know what pain is,they transfer it all onto us,they bury it deep and carry on ,unfortunately they will never change.
I so wish I could say it was easy,I wish I could say the pain goes away ,but it doesn't it just eases and eventually you gain clarity and things naturally get better,please stay strong ,trust me I know it's hard,I crave for a hug,I miss being loved ,BUT I have to pray that one day we will all be happy xxxxxxxx
I understand the lonliness and if possible surround yourself with a trusted friend, your kids, or even a pet if needed to get you through the rough times. It does get better and you'll soon see that he isn't worth the heartache and more importantly you'll see that HE doesn't deserve YOU. Don't give up on yourself and know that you are a beautiful soul...fall in love with yourself!
(((((nccodamom))))))) big hug for you and sending you thoughts of light and love. Take care and be kind to yourself. xoxo
Stay strong. You'll get through this.