Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
So here we are, maybe some of us are broken and hurt, maybe some new and hurting, some of us in recovery….
what are your goals for 2015.
They say if you write your goals down you are more likely to achieve them!
I start a therapy programme this week by email and a face-to-face therapy in June hopefully ( I have been waiting for 2 years!) Im not sure what I hope to achieve as far as leaving my H goes my goals are more about myself, I hope to achieve clarity and the strength to change my situation by positive change in myself. Oh and Im joining Slimming World!!! Im sick of looking at that stressed tired and puffy face every day!
How about you?
what are your goals for 2015.
They say if you write your goals down you are more likely to achieve them!
I start a therapy programme this week by email and a face-to-face therapy in June hopefully ( I have been waiting for 2 years!) Im not sure what I hope to achieve as far as leaving my H goes my goals are more about myself, I hope to achieve clarity and the strength to change my situation by positive change in myself. Oh and Im joining Slimming World!!! Im sick of looking at that stressed tired and puffy face every day!
How about you?
Good for you for taking charge on the weight-loss! I want to loose about two and a have stone myself (I get a kick out of using that measuring system now! Makes me feel all Brit-like!). I'm going to start a home-based exercise program.
Here are my goals for the year:
1. Continue to establish boundaries in what I accept as appropriate behavior from others. Try not to engage in situations where I am trying to change/control that other person
2. Get divorced/get my finances in order. This is a tall order, girls! The divorce part isn't so hard--I've been separated since 2009 and have totally moved on--it's the separating of the finances/assets and those things worked into the divorce that is going to be the big challenge. I am trying to buy out my ex/consolidate my debt, but I need some sort of term teaching position in order to do that. Everyone please think positive thoughts for me for this to materialize!
3. I want to lose 20 pounds, dammit. But more than that, I want to get strong and healthy. If I can get my finances in order I want to get a tummy tuck. I've been hauling this loose pregnancy skin around for years and it's time to get it cut off.
4. I've been renovating my house and this time next year I want it to be a house I am super proud of.
5. I want to get a tattoo--next November, I think. I have a feeling this year is going to be significant in terms of accomplishments, and I want to get something done that will reflect that for me.
6. I want to finish my master's project. I just want to have it out of the way, kipushh, done with.
7. I want to eliminate all of the junk and clutter that's been building up in my house over the past 10 years. Already we have chucked a lot of stuff, but I want to purge all but the really important stuff. I want to travel light in life. I have a hunch this might end up translating into my life in other ways as well.
8. I want to practice my french regularly. By the end of this year I hope to be able to carry on a simple conversation in french.
9. Eat joyfully, breath easily, sleep well, and smile lots.
10. I want to practice gratefulness--I want to be thankful, on a daily basis, for the blessings I have in my life. Perhaps this should have come first, but gratefulness is often a reflective process. There you have it.
I'm looking forward to seeing other people's life plans and resolutions!
xoxo
Same goes for banning negative self-talk. I've been refusing to listen to it for a couple of months now and the results in terms of my self-esteem and confidence have been astonishing.
I want to reengage with my art! I didn't paint at all last year, but I forgive myself because 2014 sucked. Oops, that's negative. Change to: "2014 was a time of transition." I'm learning how to use the power of visualization and so I'm simply going to visualize myself having a show.
I want to look hot in a bikini! So, hitting the gym and maybe even taking up kickboxing. I'm going to visualize myself with a nice round butt instead of this annoying floppy pancake-thing on the back side of my hips.
I'm going to cook more! I got some cookbooks for Christmas and have resolved to try at least one new recipe a week.
I'm going to appreciate me and all I have to offer so that I can know what it is I have to give!
Happy New Year, everybody!
Im with you on the negative self-talk too. And the creativity - I haven't done anything since I met my H three years ago. I am just starting back though - its the guilt. I feel if I am not making art that I can sell or has a purpose I can't justify spending the time doing it - I know thats mad but thats the opposition I have!!!
I want to feel I can do things for me, without justification.
Sorry about the stone and pounds - i forget you use kilos in the US ! I did find slimming world really easy and healthy and it works! But I got all scared about going out to the meetings and it was really stressing me, if you miss 2 you have to re - register so I didn't go back.
and as my Mum says - even Ants can move mountains - a little at a time!
I have some good news--I just listened to my phone messages for today and someone from a school division called me for an interview for a job--this is amazing, this is the first response I've gotten for an application since I have started sending them out, and I have sent out hundreds. Please think positive thoughts for me. If I can snag this I can get my finances sorted out--divorce, the whole deal. A lot is riding on this!
sunny i had a thought for you??? what about a goal of accepting life on life's terms today and each day??
what about a goal of finding a way to make turtle steps okay?
my goal is to start following the slight edge by jeff olson. such a good book it's all about doing little baby steps mundane things in a consistent way without being able to see the results until down the road....trusting in the power of that action..
love you guys..
- really get to grips with my codependent tendencies. i say "tendencies" if only because (after much reading of other people's experiences) i don't think i have it in me to COMPLETELY lose myself in someone else. still, like i said, it's a very strong tendency in me: i can see now how for much of my life, i've tried to subsume my identity in someone else's, esp. people with strong personalities. and so that's it, i need to get to the bottom of it. it's hard, now, trying to figure out what is really "me" and what is not! but i'm trying. have already read "codependent no more" and WWLTM so have a basic awareness, just need to start figuring out practical steps to take, like monitoring my own feelings/reactions and getting a sharper awareness of my triggers. one step at a time -- you don't change the habits of a lifetime overnight.
- incorporate way more eco-friendly things into my day-to-day. i just read about making your own laundry detergent... cheap cheap cheap and good for the environment, plus gets clothes cleaner than commercial stuff! doing things like this makes me feel better not just about the planet but about me.
- sort of on that same note: become more thrifty. i'm someone who loooooves spending money whether she has it or not. there again, i'm not as bad as some people (i'm not in any real debt), but i could be a LOT better.
- on a related note: become more organized about my time use. maybe it goes with liking to waste money... i also like to waste time. oh boy, can i waste time... except that i'm now 52 which statistically means i have less time to waste!! having said that, i don't want to become some clock-watching maniac. i'll start by trying to define for myself what i consider "reasonable time use" and take it from there.
- volunteer to give art lessons to local disadvantaged youth. this is SCARY!!! but i know it would be very, very good for me and on many levels.
- learn at least one new fiddle tune a month. surely i can manage that...
that's it for now! tonight in the interests of de-flattening my butt, i went to the gym. stumbled upon a really excellent class. usually i hate, loathe, detest gym classes (putting me into one is like putting a cat into a bathtub -- watch me hiss, claw and fight my way out); but i've concluded that there is no other way than to go to a class to get myself to move my lazy butt to the point of actually getting fitter. either that, or i'm punishing myself for all my sins of laziness past... anyway, surprise! this class was excellent. i loved it! the instructor was like how i would want to be if i ever gave a class and the music was actually decent (as opposed to unbearable). afterward, i went up to the instructor to say how much i liked it and she beamed, which made me feel good. :)
keep up the good work, everyone! if anyone else is into it, i would be into being part of a regular post checking in and reporting where we've gotten to...