Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

576 Members
8,726 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Women who Love too Much Support Group

Need Good Therapest

lovenature
lovenature
OK so i joined this group back in december right after reading the book. How ever I have to say I tried to convince myself the I wasent that bad now & that I mostly just needed to learn how to like a nice guy lol. How ever the fact is i have been in love with a very messed up confused man for 4 yrs now. I have been somewhat confused on some things because over all he hasent been negative toward me. He has accually showed me quit alot of respect that he does not show most women. Also he has said postitive things about be never really tried to tear me down. I was in a very bad N relatioship for 6 years before this & that one did alot of mental & verbal abuse. I took alot of time to myself after that & a few years later got involved wih this one. I am proud to say I have not tried to fix him & have not blamed myself when he didnt change. I have walked away several times & that is where the real probablem lies for me now. I cant seem to let it go & TRULY walk away !!!! There have been several times when he has given me hope that things might work & then he ran away but in the end we always stay "friends" how ever I still love him & well I honestly dont know how he feels but I know I need some help. ITs a very messed up bad situation & I need to find the stregnth to walk away forever & I know I cant do it on my own!!!! So here is my question I live in Columbus Ohio & want to know if anyone else here is from ohio & knows of or can recomend a good councler who really knows what all this is about ?????? I remember read ing in the book that not all threapests & counclers really get tis situation so if anyone knows one who does in my area please let me know !!!! If there is a site i can go to or someplace on here that will help me let me know that too !!!!! THANK YOU
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am not from your area, but if you have health insurance, they may have a web site which will list available therapists. It is very appropriate to call and "interview" several until you find one that fits your needs. If you do not have this available, try google. Again, call and interview them. Not all therapists understand the disordered personalities that we are attracted to so it is important who is understands this and those of us who love them. Much love to you.
lovenature
lovenature
Immorg, i appreciate the advice & i do have insurance. However I would have no idea how to interview a therapist about this ??? I am just starting to understand it myself & i dont know what kinds of things to ask besides have you read the book & do you believe its true lol ?????? So if I can get some suggestions of the things to ask that woudl be helpful !!! Thank You :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
It might seem flaky to you but I have found the most helpful and efficient therapy I have ever had is energy work. This will come out of your own pocket--so far insurance companies are not interested in this type of work (ha ha). I have been through traditional therapy, cranial sacral, acupuncture, etc., etc. but have also worked with energy workers on and off for years. I found an incredibly talented, spirited and frank energy worker/healer who has seen me through my present metamorphosis over the past two years. She called me on everything right away but it has taken me until now to look at her and fully say, 'Wow, you were right. Will you really help me now?' Some people are nuts or flakes--word of mouth is best. A true healer will be able to work on your field and talk you and your body through a lot of growth and change. I am in Ontario, far from you. If you are open to this kind of work, ask people in your area.
lovenature
lovenature
Creo, thank you it deffinatly sounds like something to look into :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Lovenature...I didn't even know about the book until I started going to my therapist. She is the one who recommended, actually required me to read it! I found her though by asking around. I have kids and I asked their pediatrician if he knew of anyone and he did. You just have to be open with certain individuals...be willing to step outside your comfort zone and ask a few questions. If you have a primary care physician or ob/gyn make an appointment and tell them what you are looking for, they will more than likely give you a few names to start with. What I found is that not all therapists will be the one for you. Be prepared to make an appointment with another one if you don't like how things are going with the first one. Be upfront in your first session and tell them about the book you read asking them specifically if they deal with this. You could actually ask them that when you call to make an appointment. I did and I actually spoke with my therapist on the phone a little bit before making my first appointment. I'm sure you will find one in your area though.

I can't say enough about how much it's helped me become more aware of MY actions in this entire process. Just talking to an unbiased person that isn't one of my friends has helped me realize that I'm the one causing the majority of my own pain by wanting to stay in this familiar place with him. I completely understand the on and off again cycle and I'm here to tell you that you will ultimately hurt yourself if you continue the yo-yo effect with him.

I'm sure if you go you will find more answers about you and why you allow it to continue which will help you break the cycle. Good luck!