Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Hello everyone. I haven't written on here in a while but could really use your help. Let me fill you in a little on my past. I am separated a little over two years. My husband moved out but wound up moving back in a year ago for financial reasons and is looking to move out again. I have been dating this whole time with no success. I'm pretty sure it's because I need to work on me but I crave a relationship, love, friendship. I want it all. I've been dating someone for about a month and found out about his past from a friend who knew of him. He was an officer and was charged with misconduct for what he says was because he withheld information about some other officers having sex with a 17 year old prostitute. Information on line says he told the girl he would get her out quicker if she dated him when she got out. He tells me that's not true and the papers did that to make the story sound better. So.. now what am I to do? Do I believe him and move forward or end it now? Any advice???
Please!
Please!
What a good thing that you found this information on him (though it is so disappointing). My advice is: run for the hills!!!!! I'm 90% sure he is lying. Why would the police make that up about one of their own officers?
I would listen to your instinct in regards to dating. Trust yourself. If you feel that you need to work on you and take a break from dating, then do that. Even if it's really hard. Are you attending therapy? It may be good to set up that support for yourself if you stop dating, to give yourself something else to look forward to. Have you considered ever joining a 12-step group? I highly recommend codependents anonymous. Norwood also highly recommends 12-step groups for WWLTM. Because we are addicted to relationships and drama. I have found attending my 12-step group makes me so much calmer and less alone. Consider it for yourself.
Big hugs and keep us updated x
One of the biggest learnings in my life has been that people show us who they are right at the beginning. But for various reasons, we choose to ignore the danger signs and plough through. What is your gut telling you. Is his behaviour consistent with what he is saying?I would say given you are asking the question, you already know he is lying??
I agree with goingup. Take a break and take care of yourself first. For me personally, it was a long and painful journey to learn self care. I had always believed I needed to take care of everyone whatever the personal cost. As you start valuing yourself more, you will find you need external validation less and less.
I wish you strength..Much love.