I dont know what to do about my family. it is not feasible for me to move right now, and cutting the toxic people out of my life would mean having to cut other ones that i would still like to keep in contact with. my main concern is my sister. she is 16... SIXTEEN. My mother is a full blown N. its always a guess with her to who she is going to be from one day to the next, and i keep minimal contact if at all possible. she is very abusive and toxic... to animals and people alike. i have seen her practically break a rabbits neck, threatening to kill it, in front of my daughter and I, all because it had a hairball she was trying to cut off and it wouldnt sit still. yelling at it like it understood. then 5 minutes later go back to asking if we want anything for dinner. I have cut contact with her a few times, and this time the problem isnt her... i let my daughter go stay the night with her and my sister, and was suposed to pick her up in the morning from my sisters doc appt. around 10.30. she calls me at ten, and im only 15 minutes away, being very rude about how she was there a half hour ago waiting. i said there was never a definite time given, and that i was on my way. she was rude again, so i told her there was no reason for her to talk to me in such a way, and she continued, so i hung up, without even getting the directions. i called back and said ok, are you done? can you talk civilly now? she started in again. so again i hung up. i called my other sister to get directions. while picking my daughter up, she continued to be rude to me, it never occured to her that she could have CALLED me to say she was on her way and needed her picked up at a specific time, OR that she could have driven the extra ten minutes to my house and dropped her off if she was so incredibly early. I asked her how was it that she became to be so Narcissistic that she did not consider others feelings when talking to them. her reply was that i was a nasty person, that no one liked me, and no one ever did. just ask and they will tell. i said, and maybe i shouldnt have, but ill give the back story in a minute, that maybe when she got pregnant at an early age maybe she would grow up some and see the world differently, she said at least she would be a better mom than me, and more responsible.

this is not the first time she has said such things. one time she has called me stupid when i was asking for directions, and anytime i confront her about her attitude its because im bitchy, or moody, or nasty.

The back story behind her is, she is 16... has a live in boyfriend, that my dad, and my mom, support. because of this, she thinks she is entitled to act like an adult. she goes to running start, and does not consider herself a high school student anymore. she answers to no one. she manipulates everyone. when i was pregnant and sick, she is the one who got me kicked out of the house, by telling our dad, my step dad, that i said she was fat, where in truth i said she didnt need any more snacks because i had just bought alot of groceries last weekend and everything snackwise was gone already. im angry about this... i dont want her near my daughter . but my daughter adores her. so now what?

i am so incredibly tired of people disrespecting me. i have my faults, and i may not always be the most pleasant person to be around... but where does a 16 year old girl, get to tell me off, and me be in the wrong for it? ugh, i love washington, but i want to move, far away from ALL OF THEM, except my other sister. she at least, can be understanding and kind and apologize if she is wrong. and i know this is my moms fault. for the years of talking shit about me, telling them all my problems, and saying if they didnt do this then they would end up like me. like my life is such a piece of shit. ugh.
im so tired of the disrespect. I am a person, with feelings, with values. i dont deserve to be spoken to like that, EVER.

and here in my mind reading this, circles the thoughts, well, i have been snappy before too.... trying to justify their actions. if i am snappy at my mother, its because of YEARS of pent up anger and frustration because she would NEVER acknowledge what she did to me... and the nearly 30 years of put downs. so yes, once in a while im having a bad day, and the last thing i want to hear is her fucking condescending tone. my fault for picking up. im not proud of my lack of control in this area. but holy shit... now my little sister? she has always gone back and forth from being manipulative, but i dont think i can ever look at her again the same way after the other day. she is just not a good person... but she has an awesome front. and as a truth seeker, and seeing her warped view of the world... it both saddens and angers me, that she is the one that will get the support and everything she wants in life, by manipulating and being conniving. im even worried, that when she meets the part of the family that i have met recently, that she will take them away from me too. they are awesome and i never felt like i belonged to a family til i met them. my mom was adopted. i never knew you could be so like people and never had met them. ok. i think im done venting. but i dont know what to do. i know she will throw my daughter in my face, saying i am making her suffer because im a bitch.

i just keep saying, my daughter needs no one but me.... im so worried im not a good mom as it is, why did she have to go there?