really think that through. what would happen and how would you feel?

If I would text him he would first ask what took me so long. And then I would forget all about the strength I've been building during the past few days. I'd forget all about the anger I feel towards him. We would chit chat for a bit and then he would probably come over and things would be good for a little while and then the distance would resurface. I would be devastated all over again.
The battle I'm facing is whether or not just seeing him again, or even seeing his name appear on my phone is worth it. I feel like I just need that hit, just to feel some relief even for a little bit. I just wanna know that I'm still on his mind. It's so sick.

My therapist gave me a beautiful line to work with,

"What would you do in this moment if you were to honour yourself?

Just pause when he calls or texts and consider the answer to this question. It is really helpful.
Asking questions is also important--it makes our subconscious work to supply our conscious mind.

Ohhhh Missmom: I'm right there with you and I have been thinking the same thing ALL DAY, but I know deep inside I will only get hurt and have to hit the "reset" button. And I'm only on Day 3!

I keep asking myself: what would he do if I contacted him? Answer: He would say something careless or hurtful or WORSE YET nothing at all. And then what? I would feel so small (again). And by doing that, I feel like I'd be giving him my power back. And I've been working for 3 days to keep it, rebuild myself and be a woman I respect and who he doesn't think he can mess with.

Please think of all the hard work you put into getting to day 5 (Almost 6)! Hang with me here, we can support each other.

Can we agree to one more day? Just tomorrow? After that we can reassess this urge if we both still have it ok? Let's focus on one more day for now?

that's exactly what's gotten me to this day, the fear of having to "reset" an start this whole miserable process over....with it probably being worse. it took me a long time to get that. in my case it's true.......i had to hit reset for 6 months of breaking it off and trying again....until finally i just found that i COULD NOT go through it again. (then he went to another woman--but oh well)

DEAL Maryland! Oh I'm so glad i found you guys! :)

Creo, what do you mean by asking questions?

I can't press reset again. I can't I can't I can't!

Ok Miss. I'm counting on you sister. If I were with you right now I'd give you a big hug and we would shake on this. One more day. Just one day. We can do ANYTHING for one day.

Hug? Shake? screw that, I'd fix us both a martini! lol!

OHHHHH boy, I could deal with that sister!
So maybe make a list of things you will do tomorrow to stay busy? I plan on doing that. We can swap them if that helps! xoxo

I'm off work all week and I was actually planning on cleaning out mine and my son's wardrobe to give away to the needy. Then I was going to start on a list for my upcoming trip to Florida.
What will you be up to girl?

See! You have a plan already. If you have been getting a lot of urges, I say you should make a list to include "little things" to fill any time that it may strike you, something like "go to the post office" or "take a walk". Maybe try to fit in some stress relieving things to do. Then if you need to (have a panic moment) you can grab one of those "keep busy" items from your backup bag.

I plan on going to a spin class at the gym in the morning, followed by a yoga class. They're back-to-back and then I have to work on a client proposal (VERY HARD to focus on something in front of the computer when all I can think about is texting or emailing him). Some of my "extra" things to do would be a hot yoga class tomorrow night with a friend of mine (at least that class would include some company), going to the bank (been putting off some errands like that), taking my dog for a bath and cleaning my large living room (I'm supposed to host a small event here Thursday night).

I know it sounds like a lot but you would be surprised how little I get done because I'm paralyzed by sadness.

I get that . Paralyzed is what it is. I have no choice but to keep moving because of my toddler and I'm so grateful for that, but internally, it's like I'm on hold. So debilitating.
I just finished my spinning class, I freaken love it, Gotta start up again.

Hey girl, I sent you a couple of private msgs, did you not get them?

You know what? Congratulate yourself for the small things. I have been in a place in my life (more than once) where I would go to work (teaching) and need to come home just to lay down for the rest of the day. Mostly, it was a good refuge but there were times that I couldn't do it. So, you are running your own business, writing, going to yoga, walking your dog...not so bad.
Maybe just begin to make some space for quiet--I know right now it's hard to imagine because the floodgates open but maybe in time.

No I don't have any messages from you Miss. I accepted your friend request though. :)

Creo: You are wise to say I need to be proud of what I did accomplish and let the rest go, and maybe sometimes enjoy the still. The truth is, I'm a busy body by natural design so this isn't unfamiliar to me in terms of "fitting a lot into a day", but I am incapable of silence right now. I'm in bed with the pup getting ready to TRY to sleep and this is about all I can take for downtime without falling apart.

I just want to text him and tell him ANYTHING that will make him remember me and how much I matter and make him consider stopping his new relationship in its tracks because I'm so worth it, UGH....I hate that I am telling you this