actualy i do not need a relationship with a man to make me whole. im good as i am and just felt sorry for myself for a moment..

Ask yourself this, is it relationships you are afraid of, or relationships with N's that you are afraid of? Those are two very different things. I am not afraid of healthy relationships. I often wonder if I am capable of having or finding one, but I don't fear good relationships.

So, now my mission is to work on my issues so I am capable of having a healthy relationship, and then find another capable person and have a healthy relationship.

And though I hear many women say "I don't need a relationship with a man to make me whole" I don't personally feel that way. I like men. I like to have relationships with men. I think I am hardwired both physically and emotionally to seek that, want it and will feel a bit incomplete until I have a good relationship with a man. I don't see that as a failure, I see it as a natural part of the human condition.

For me the issue isn't wanting or needing a relationship with a man, the issue is that I get so compulsive about it that I am willing to do stupid things to get and keep a man, even if it's impossible to have the relationship I desire with THAT man. I've been too willing to settle for Mr Wrong, rather than move on and build a relationship with Mr Right.

Getting and keeping a man is not my top priority in life, but I'd be lying to say it's not a significant priority. I like men, and they are not all stinkers and narcissists. I too have said that I never want another relationship, but I know that is not the truth. I never want another sick abusive relationship. Not with myself, not with friends, or family, or men.

Good reply threshold. I took off a year and a half from relationships. The most recent one, I studied him and tested him with great detail before I opened my heart. I studied how he treated his mom, what his values were, how he behaved under pressure etc...you've got to do your homework before you let anyone near your precious gifts! Be choosy! You deserve the BEST and never settle! The universe will present you with the right person when you are ready to receive him! xoxo

im afraid of n. had so maney in my life. do not trust my judment at all. my sister took alot money from me a year ago. i broke off contact with her. she called late last night son answere d by axident he was ill and taken by surprise miss and love sister but.do not want to ever see her.right hve business dealings with 2 narcs. see my part in collecting narcs in my life. im far from a new relationship first need to get the narcks out of my life the user of people.