oh yeah... did i mention that HE is not the one who looses sleep, or work because of baby being sick? is not there to put her to bed? is not there to love her? care for her? teach her? cry with her because she wont stop screaming? but it dont matter does it.

I know it hurts and it for sure isn't fair. But please don't lose sight of the fact that you are doing a great and wonderful thing by raising your daughter and he is missing out and will never get the time back or the bond that only being in her life can produce. I was where you are when my kids were small, and my heart has always ached for the stable relationship they did not have with their dad. However, I know now without a doubt that I have done my best as a mother and God has strengthened and rewarded me for my deligence. My son is graduating this week and I look back on all those years that I struggled and fought for him to get where he is, and I can say that I feel more accomplished than I ever did when I graduated from high school and college put together. Nothing can replace that feeling. I wouldn't trade it for all the stress free days and nights in the world. Be encouraged, honey, you will know what I mean when you and your baby reach that place in your journey. May God bless,strengthen and keep you.

My new motto is non resistence. Oh well, the court states he gets to declare her this year. OK.

He is what he is. Be grateful he is so distant from her. He does not sound like a stable man or a good man or a good parent. Be grateful for how little he sees her. Yes, it is his loss, but it is her gain not to be emotionally attached to a distant parent.

It is actually kind of weird because the IRS always gives the deduction to the custodial parent, but I guess you must fall into this:

Divorce or Separation
The parent who has custody of the child for the greater part of the tax year generally may claim the child as a dependent on his/her tax return, regardless of who provides more financial support. This rule does not apply if:

the custodial parent gives up the tax deduction by signing a written declaration stating that he or she will not claim the child as a dependent on his/her tax return, and the non-custodial parent attaches this statement to his/her tax return;

there is a written agreement executed before 1985 specifying that the non-custodial parent gets the tax deduction on his/her tax return, and that parent provides at least $600 of support; or
a multiple-support agreement is in effect.


From this article:

http://www.wwwebtax.com/miscellaneous/exemptions.htm

from what my lawyer says, i can claim her, and if he wants to fight it he will have to take me back to court.
he makes more than i do, he is never around. sure he pays child support. but i need that extra money at the end of the year, he doesnt. he already gets extra income for having a child, reguardless whether he see's her or not, the navy gives him more money for dependent support. i think ill claim her, and if he wants to take me in then fine. ill explain how i have to lose work when she is sick, because he is never around to call for help. not that i would want to. but it says that i am supposed to sign the form over to him... i just wont.
so what. hold me in contempt. the worse they will do is order me to pay it back. she is 14 months old. when he gets back she will be 17 months old, and he has seen her twice saying he hasnt had time, but he has taken leave for vacations. god forbid he take time for her. but he wants to look good in front of his command or girlfriend, so he wont just give up rights. in his mind his child support getting yanked from his check, is the best he can do, and is getting screwed. ugh...

and susy, I AM so greatful he is not around honestly. i actually wish he would sign his rights away and KEEP his money. but he wont, couldnt have him looking bad. the poster navy boy, the nice guy who volenteers for charities does yard work for old women, and gives flowers to his girlfriend every occasion. on the outside, he is perfect as can be. and so far, his mom and i, are the only ones who know how he can be. he used to hit his mom, and tell everyone she is an alchoholic.
as she says, she loves him, of course, he is her son, but she doesnt understand him, or what he does or why he is that way and violent.
we summed it up to this, he was adopted when he was 3. the emotional damage was done then... irrepairable, and he is about crazy.

Honey, if you have full custody of that child, and you provide more than half of her needs, he doesn't ever see her... hunh... I'd file the damn taxes and do what your attorney tells you to do. You have a legal right and just because he pays child support does not mean he has a right to claim her. Unless you signed the paper that the article listed above that is... of course your attorney should be advising you if you can file or not, if he says your fine then do it. Stand for your child girl, he's not going to... your her momma, if you don't do it who will?

He's a coward, he won't take you back to court, you know why? when the judge finds out he gets an extra $400 a month he'll raise his child support! LOL! Have confidence in your ability sister! You can do it! Chin up, you are doing a great job. Don't let his insecurity and bullying push you around.