Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
ive written about her before, but she is really dragging me down. i cant stand it. she doesnt understand.
she fights with me about her kid, i watch her kid quite often, and her not as often with mine, we are suposed to trade, cept i get the yuck part of the deal, and when i confront her she says well i can always take him to my moms, and then refuse to watch mine and make me pay a couple hundred out of pocket to another babysitter, which i cant afford right now.
Her boyfriend, thats another story, and superficially, he is a nice guy to us. but he uses her, and becasue we are on the lease to, is using us, but he actually doesnt try to, he tries to leave. SHE insists, that he stay here, INSISTS that he have his friends come over with an open door policy, oh did i mention that he sells illegal substances? and has been caught and arrested on at least two occasions that i know of since i have lived with her since april? all of her ex's are, or have been in jail. i cant handle her moodswings any longer because she is trying to take care of him, or pissed off because, he didnt eat today, or didnt show up when he said, or cause she doesnt have a ride to work cause her car is stuck in who knows where cause she let him or a friend borrow it. oh wait, not her car, his car, she gave him her car since his car is ugly and she doesnt want him to get pulled over. she is about the most ridiculous person i have ever met with this.
i remember how it was. and i honestly know i cant compromise with her.
she has chosen to ignore what is happening. over and over again, and does not believe she needs help, or that anything is wrong. so i cant even talk to her. she is bringing her craziness into my life, and im tired of it.
im tired of people I dont know well, coming over at all hours, lights in my window. she even sends them in my house, to drop of dishes or whatever. her son comes over sometimes asking for juice or breakfast cause mom doesent want to get up today. and all he eats is easy mac and granola bars. i feel bad for him, but he is hard to deal with too sometimes with his constant lying and whining. but i understand why he does it.
we cant move. we cant afford to. at this moment, there is nothing i can change about my situation, i feel completely out of control.
ok, most of you will probably say KICK HER OUT. which is mine and my boyfriends thought.
but she is on the lease, and we are renting together. she lives in a two bedroom garage deal outside, with no kitchen. our house is the only kitchen. SO. if she leaves, i guess our rent would drop to 900 a month, which we could do, but then the other place would be rented out, and we could be in the same situation. cause we have to share the kitchen.
she wasnt acting like this at the other place or i never would have agree'd to move with her. but now that she has her "own space"
and if we booted her, then what? we are all together on the lease, so we might all get booted cause the landlord doesnt want to deal with it. and we still owe like 300 on a pet deposit, and 650 on last months rent deposit. most likely. once we have enough money to move we will. and austin is joining the navy anyway, and we will move. so either way, it wont last forever. i stay out of her place as much as possible, and if anything goes down, i know nothing.
but jeesh. i mean, its really a mess. oh yeah, and she works with me, and apparently sells for her boyfriend, to my boss's boyfriend, who gives it to her, and well you get the picture there. she was caught, but they wont do anything about it and are hiding it from the owners.
we could find someone else to rent it, but then, again, same thing.
she fights with me about her kid, i watch her kid quite often, and her not as often with mine, we are suposed to trade, cept i get the yuck part of the deal, and when i confront her she says well i can always take him to my moms, and then refuse to watch mine and make me pay a couple hundred out of pocket to another babysitter, which i cant afford right now.
Her boyfriend, thats another story, and superficially, he is a nice guy to us. but he uses her, and becasue we are on the lease to, is using us, but he actually doesnt try to, he tries to leave. SHE insists, that he stay here, INSISTS that he have his friends come over with an open door policy, oh did i mention that he sells illegal substances? and has been caught and arrested on at least two occasions that i know of since i have lived with her since april? all of her ex's are, or have been in jail. i cant handle her moodswings any longer because she is trying to take care of him, or pissed off because, he didnt eat today, or didnt show up when he said, or cause she doesnt have a ride to work cause her car is stuck in who knows where cause she let him or a friend borrow it. oh wait, not her car, his car, she gave him her car since his car is ugly and she doesnt want him to get pulled over. she is about the most ridiculous person i have ever met with this.
i remember how it was. and i honestly know i cant compromise with her.
she has chosen to ignore what is happening. over and over again, and does not believe she needs help, or that anything is wrong. so i cant even talk to her. she is bringing her craziness into my life, and im tired of it.
im tired of people I dont know well, coming over at all hours, lights in my window. she even sends them in my house, to drop of dishes or whatever. her son comes over sometimes asking for juice or breakfast cause mom doesent want to get up today. and all he eats is easy mac and granola bars. i feel bad for him, but he is hard to deal with too sometimes with his constant lying and whining. but i understand why he does it.
we cant move. we cant afford to. at this moment, there is nothing i can change about my situation, i feel completely out of control.
ok, most of you will probably say KICK HER OUT. which is mine and my boyfriends thought.
but she is on the lease, and we are renting together. she lives in a two bedroom garage deal outside, with no kitchen. our house is the only kitchen. SO. if she leaves, i guess our rent would drop to 900 a month, which we could do, but then the other place would be rented out, and we could be in the same situation. cause we have to share the kitchen.
she wasnt acting like this at the other place or i never would have agree'd to move with her. but now that she has her "own space"
and if we booted her, then what? we are all together on the lease, so we might all get booted cause the landlord doesnt want to deal with it. and we still owe like 300 on a pet deposit, and 650 on last months rent deposit. most likely. once we have enough money to move we will. and austin is joining the navy anyway, and we will move. so either way, it wont last forever. i stay out of her place as much as possible, and if anything goes down, i know nothing.
but jeesh. i mean, its really a mess. oh yeah, and she works with me, and apparently sells for her boyfriend, to my boss's boyfriend, who gives it to her, and well you get the picture there. she was caught, but they wont do anything about it and are hiding it from the owners.
we could find someone else to rent it, but then, again, same thing.
I shared a big house in the past. My roomies were very nice, clean, and as usual, there is always a black sheep. We wrote a cleaning routa for each week. We were students and we all did our own duties. There was a rule at home about common items. If you used them, you were expected to clean them. My landlady used to make sure to control this issue.
Sorry about the babysitter. I have no children so, I have no advice for you. I am fairly independant and expect nothing from people. Most people like taking advantage so, is better to look after yourself.
The roommate does not sound dependable, reliale or willing to do her 'share' of the bartering. How long would it take you to save up money to live on your own w/o roommates? This whole situation sounds really chaotic and draining.
i mean what guy wouldn't stay? free food, sex, rent, and car? and pressure to accept them?
in a way im glad this happened, cause now austin see's why i did not want roomates. things were all fine and dandy with them when i was single, cause if i didnt like it, i could just leave, i owned little, and it was a quick move. now its not that easy. it will be a couple months, maybe even a few, before i can have enough money to move or afford it on my own, and it would have to be now, or after winter, so looks like im gonna have to deal with it for now. besides, i dont want the drama here, ending up affecting my job somehow. i need this job right now. and you cant just go look for a better job. ive bartended, and i deal cards. there is no better job around here, without some giant degree. i make on average 26-30 an hour, with my tips making up 89 % of my income. i tried to get out of the business, and i couldnt find anything. i applied at a deli in qfc even, for 9.50 an hour, and they wanted me to go through 3 interviews, and wanted to know what i wanted to do with my life, for a deli. it was a joke. so i guess i have to play the wait and see game,
can i change anything? right now, without some drastic thing that could throw us all out to nowhere, the answer is no.
so i guess i just have to accept it and deal with it now. my friend did give me a good idea though,
to talk to the landlord, kinda tip him off, though he should already know cause the parking is always full when he comes to fix something, but see what he says and see what he can do, but if she gets booted, we still cant pay the full 1550 alone, and we are still obligated to rent the whole property. we could find other roomates then though, i think, ugh. i dont know.
i guess i just have to wait and see for now. i guess he is going to rehab for 18 months, 6 of those months inpatient, he is waiting on the court to decide in his favor to go. either way, i think he is going away soon. i hope