Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Fellow women that love too much
have you ever dated a hot and cold guy? well guess what, he's like my ex! he just gives me all these signs and tells me he loves me but we "destabilize" each other. apparently here's some kind of force that doesn't let us be together, it isn't because he doesn't want to fight or invest his time and attention, but because I fight too much and don't let things go or as I see it "pretend we don't have a problem" or "don't see when he's disrespectful".
I've tried fellow women, I've took him on a trip, I've made romantic appearances but somehow it's always my fault, in my head and in his. there is this "destiny" or he isn't ready or I am not ready or whatever...
I just feel underappeciated and it kills me of how easy it is for him to not miss me or not want me... it breaks my heart.
I'm just so focused in all of this that I can't even focus in me and my self worth. my self esteem is on the ground and I help everyone to step on it..
I'm a mess and I just play with this mess that I am, I say I won't ever text him but then I just find pretexts to do it because he smiled at me in class and came to talk to me... I'm like a little girl! an I'm letting someone damage me emotionally why? because I wanna feel loved? respected? I wasn't that loved and respected when I had him, I always came 4th in his list of priorities, except if it involved to have sex, in that case he could stay a little more... he wouldn't stay a little more if I was sad or sick... he would have to go study.
he says I make him the bad guy of the relationship but actually I believe that many times he hurt.me I've chosen to not say a thing because I dint want to bother him.
how stupid is that? a companion should be there for you, puck ppick up your phone when something urgent came up, talk to you through night if you are in tears because of a fight... hold you in his arms for as long as you need it,take care of you when you're sick.
if he came back, nit wouldn't start to happen dear brain.. só why do I still want him?
have you ever dated a hot and cold guy? well guess what, he's like my ex! he just gives me all these signs and tells me he loves me but we "destabilize" each other. apparently here's some kind of force that doesn't let us be together, it isn't because he doesn't want to fight or invest his time and attention, but because I fight too much and don't let things go or as I see it "pretend we don't have a problem" or "don't see when he's disrespectful".
I've tried fellow women, I've took him on a trip, I've made romantic appearances but somehow it's always my fault, in my head and in his. there is this "destiny" or he isn't ready or I am not ready or whatever...
I just feel underappeciated and it kills me of how easy it is for him to not miss me or not want me... it breaks my heart.
I'm just so focused in all of this that I can't even focus in me and my self worth. my self esteem is on the ground and I help everyone to step on it..
I'm a mess and I just play with this mess that I am, I say I won't ever text him but then I just find pretexts to do it because he smiled at me in class and came to talk to me... I'm like a little girl! an I'm letting someone damage me emotionally why? because I wanna feel loved? respected? I wasn't that loved and respected when I had him, I always came 4th in his list of priorities, except if it involved to have sex, in that case he could stay a little more... he wouldn't stay a little more if I was sad or sick... he would have to go study.
he says I make him the bad guy of the relationship but actually I believe that many times he hurt.me I've chosen to not say a thing because I dint want to bother him.
how stupid is that? a companion should be there for you, puck ppick up your phone when something urgent came up, talk to you through night if you are in tears because of a fight... hold you in his arms for as long as you need it,take care of you when you're sick.
if he came back, nit wouldn't start to happen dear brain.. só why do I still want him?
It sounds cliche, but it's all about loving yourself enough to know that you deserve better, and be happy enough on your own to end the relationship.
I highly recommend checking out a 12 step group. Norwood recommends these in her book as the best way to heal. I'm in a 12 step group and it's helped me enormously.
I've been really anxious even with daily stuff, I've been having some anxiety attacks and this isn't how love should feel like... this isn't love, it's probably obsession. I'll try to repeat that sentence in my mind, thank you very much. first boyfriend you know? I've always had some trust issues and this one that I trusted....I just feel vandalised.
@goingup how can I join one of those? and what are they all about?
Often obsession is our way of avoiding problems in our own life. We distract ourselves by thinking about them, and get that temporary 'high' to feel good. It is very much like an addiction. Unfortunately, thinking about them distracts us from focusing on our own life and we get further and further behind. It sounds like this is happening to you with your grades. By the way, you don't have to feel happy for him that he is doing well. Do you think he feels sad for you that you are doing poorly? I doubt it. Dont feel obligated to give more than he deserves.
12 step groups are different depending which you go to. I attend a group for codependency called 'codependent anonymous'
http://coda.org/
Click on the link. In CoDA, people learn to heal their problems by growing their own spirituality, and looking at their own issues with help of a sponsor.
I think CoDa is great for anyone who has obsession and addictin involving relationships and other people. I highly recommend you check it out and see if there is a group in your area. There are groups all over the world.