Dracona.. you have to keep going ... you have come too far to let yourself and your daughter down. Be strong ,

Keep.Moving.Forward.

dear dracaena-- think about the consequences for not leaving...

since you are aware of how abusive relationship progress almost ALWAYS you know that since he hit you once he could and very likely will hit you again. HE DID THIS IN FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER!

YOU have an obligation to keep your daughter shielded from violence AND to teach her what is acceptable in a relationship and what is NOT!

if you back out now you will contributing to the abuse of your own daughter. witnessing dv is abuse!!! that's why if this was reported CPS would have taken the report!!! it is illegal to do what you've done and CPS does in fact hold the mom's accountable for keeping their kids safe.

plus think of how good you will feel once you are finally able to show your daughter what IS acceptable. what is loving and gentle and that she is deserving of that.. right now there is healing to be done you cannot get out of your decision to leave now!!!!

I know i know. He just gets to me! He thinks he deserves another chance. The biggest wrong i could ever do him according to him is sleeping with someone else. So i said fine. Lets even it out. I have free reign to sleep with 3 people. And after that we can try to start over. He said that is unacceptable and unforgivable and i already hurt him when i went on a date during last summer when we werent together and kissed someone. When he told me himself he didnt want a relationship and i tried to move on. He says he hopes i can get over what hes done and he knows hes wrong but understands if i cant cause he would never get over me sleeping with someone else. Says he would leave me if i did. Pffft. Ok double standard. I just said that to see how far he really wanted to go towards change. He didnt talk to me about how that wouldnt really help the situation. Didnt tell me to do what i had to do. And its not like hes overly kissing my ass either in trying to make shit better. Though suddenly he now says he loves fishing and crabbing. Which is something i do on a regular... Usually without him cause he doesn't want to go or stay out there for hours. I can see through it. I just am having a hell of a time letting go of the future we planned. Which is close. All the work we put in and im.having to give it up. He gets his officer commission on the 14th of may next year of a hefty steady income. I was going to be able to get my md liscense as a neurologist/therapist while he worked. We were gonna have a house. Everything. Stability. Family. Home. He threw it all away even after he hit me. To text some teenager. Ge says hes sorry. Hes only sorry he got caught. If i wouldnt have said anything he wouldnt have stopped. I know this. Doesnt matter if he had sex with her or not. He lied to me. Again.

i know it's hard. i might feel the same if i were in your shoes. but from my shoes or perspective of wanting to be a mom and not being able to have the privilege of protecting my daughter it is clear to me that i wouldn't be fantasizing about a future with this guy. i'm not judging you dracaena but you are spending time entertaining your addiction instead of fighting for your daughter's rights to a loving father/male role model. this is not about having a house or a degree. it's stressful for me to read your post b/c being a mom takes this addiction to a whole new level which means it takes your fight for your recovery to a whole new level.

Dracona ... two phrases WWLTM's are all too familiar with... 'Love Bombing' and 'Future Faking' ... oh and add to these a third, equally damaging behaviour ... 'Gaslighting' ! You are answering your own questions, bottom line time Dracona, are you your addiction ? No you are a mother, a psychology student, a strong independent mother of a beautiful little girl.... now you are at a major crossroads in your life. YOU ARE ALL THE FAMILY YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS, for now. You cannot stuff a narcissistic, lying, cheating, immature, abusive man into the seemingly gaping hole you erroneously see labelled 'DAD' for your daughter!! Who cares if he has a badge saying 'Officer' on his lapel, it sure as hell doesn't make him a 'gentleman'! There is a old saying , " you can put a pig in a suit, but it's still a pig!" if you get the idea.... and is your life with your daughter going to measured with a big house/lots of money/social status? Or is measured in love, time, laughter, making happy memories, playtime, freedom from fear and anxiety? With parenthood comes great responsibility..... we all hope you make the right choice for you and your daughter Dracona. Listen to your instincts as a woman and as a mother.

Dracona,

Be selfish and gard your heart.

(((hugs))).

i love that butter you are all the family your daughter needs..... she needs you alive and healthy and happy!!

I feel worse that my daughter has been involved in this. I am moving out next weekend. it will be done. its just the guilt trips, the double standards... everything. as soon as im gone im much better. I have some good friends.

it can't not make you feel bad that your daughter's involved...just choose better next time. it's a living amends deal.