Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I just left my husband, who I chose even though I knew he'd never be someone I could really get close to. I looked back to all my relationships and realized that I've always been attracted to unavailable men. In college, I stayed with a man who had a girlfriend at home. When he finally broke up with her, it was too much for me and I panicked. Subsequent relationships followed in the same pattern- unavailable men with me pursuing. My mother was the same. Wtf? I need to make better choices, but that closeness scares the crap out of me.
I think you hit the nail on the head with regards to being attracted to unavailable men. That tends to be a defining characteristic of women who love too much, and there have been numerous theories as to why this is, and it probably varies amongst us but a theme that resonated with me was in me trying to prove that I was good enough for these wankers, and as soon as I realize that I don't have to prove anything I tend to lose interest. I can also identify with what you've described about closeness and intimacy being a bit overwhelming. I've been in a long-term relationship for the past 9 1/2 years which has actually been defying this pattern of mine which is a positive thing for me, but we don't live together so it's possible that the reason why it's worked is that we both have our own space.
Keep in touch, let us know any updates! Take care,
Artgrrl