Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
its been a little over 2 years since i was with a crazy N.
its weird, how looking in retrospect, that it feels like it never happened, or like it wasnt that bad, like im a hypocondriac, like i make it sound worse than it was. but i still suffer from it. weird. why does that happen?
it was the same or is the same when dealing with my childhood abuse. and i have to go through the facts, and through my head, to reassure myself that it was that bad. i catch myself thinking sometimes, that maybe it was my fault. i was gambling alot, and that put alot of stress on us, and maybe that gave him the right to leave me and do what he did to me. but its not true. stupid brain, stupid heart, always contradicting, always betraying me.
IT WASNT MY FAULT. it was bad. it DID hurt.
its weird, how looking in retrospect, that it feels like it never happened, or like it wasnt that bad, like im a hypocondriac, like i make it sound worse than it was. but i still suffer from it. weird. why does that happen?
it was the same or is the same when dealing with my childhood abuse. and i have to go through the facts, and through my head, to reassure myself that it was that bad. i catch myself thinking sometimes, that maybe it was my fault. i was gambling alot, and that put alot of stress on us, and maybe that gave him the right to leave me and do what he did to me. but its not true. stupid brain, stupid heart, always contradicting, always betraying me.
IT WASNT MY FAULT. it was bad. it DID hurt.
Dracona, I just purpose to become whole. That is my focus.
I get snared in that 'was it so bad' shit, too, but YES! It was killing me!
Perhaps the contradiction we are speaking of between our brain/thoughts & heart/what we know to be true exists to remind us that we have something to heal. I firmly believe that our bodies are our closest allies.
It is important that we acknowledge our shortcomings (which we all have) and face and heal our addictions (if those are in our way of being our best selves). Even if we are acting out, we still did not deserve to be treated cruely, devalued and discarded like we were a used kleenex. No one deserves that. No one.