Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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Im feeling scared.

harmony7
harmony7
Its been almost 2 weeks since XN contacted me unexpectidly with his spew of abusive phone calls and texts after 3 months of NC.He is also back in the country.I have been strong in ignoring him until now when i received last night a further text to abuse and tell me he is back with his girlfriend the one he followed back to australia as she had left him.I have now found my self feeling very damaged by all this and i almost feel scared of men.Im doubting everything about myself.Ifeel i will never know what its like to have a healthy relationship and respect.I feel i will never get out of this space im in.I still feel so drawn to XN its like a force ive never experienced before and it scares me that i will never get over him and move forward.Ive never felt this force with a man before.I feel that maybe i am crazy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can you block him or change your number? You are NOT crazy Harmony. And you will get through this. Well done for not responding. NC is your POWER and it will get easier, especially if you block every attempt he makes to disrupt your calm - change your number. Cut the cord and reclaim your life. Best thing I ever did! Hang in there and the self doubt will subside. Remember, any response is supply.
harmony7
harmony7
laundrygirl thank you for your support i honestly am feeling that im losing the plot right now. I felt i was doing so well until now but the words he ranted and what he called me have me feeling very fragile.I feel pathetically weak right now and even that gets to me because im usually strong until this XN.
deleted_user
deleted_user
harmony, you've hit a 'trigger', too! Yes, block him if at all possible. This feeling you're having is typical of PTSD - from what I've read in the last couple of days.

You will get through this, you will regain your composure. Go easy on yourself for the next few days, OK?
Karen13
Karen13
They seem to always be able to hit that fragile spot and reduce you to feeling very vulnerable with the words they choose to use to hurt you. HE is the crazy one sweetie, what the hell is he doing still texting you? why can he not just be with his new girl and leave you alone? Oh yeah, cos he is NUTS.

Hold on please, you can and will move forward. Please think about changing your number as the others have advised, otherwise you are letting him have a way to plug right back into your feelings and disturb them. Your friends and family will be cool with a new number I am sure xx
Malky
Malky
You are not crazy. You are smart to recognize he is dangerous. I remember what you wrote a few weeks ago. Don't let go of the strength you're building, and take good care. Sending you love ...
Blueshoes2
Blueshoes2
It is normal to be afraid of men after what we have been through and are going through...don't worry about that aspect...know that you are not crazy, you are o.k., you are gonig to be o.k., one minute at a time if necessary. We are all sending you good strong thoughts...
harmony7
harmony7
Thank you all for your kind words.I know this will be a long healing process but ive seen since being on here so many of you make progress through your journeys so i know i can do this.laundrygirl like you have said before i think sometimes you need to take minute by minute.The amazing thing out of all this is i never realized how damaged i was from my childhood and have always kept it wrapped up.This has now forced me to deal with myself where no other relationship has.Ive just continued the destructive relationship pattern.
deleted_user
deleted_user
@harmony - RE: The amazing thing out of all this is i never realized how damaged i was from my childhood and have always kept it wrapped up.This has now forced me to deal with myself where no other relationship has.

Robin Norwood states that there is only one reason for us to be in relationships and that is to wake us up.

My therpist always tells me the only reason he came into my life was to show myself the parts that still needed healing and tending to. It is hard sometimes to face that in the mirror but how will we ever get better if we do not?
harmony7
harmony7
Wise words SusyP and im facing myself no matter how painful.Im so grateful and thankful to this group and all of you as im learning so much.It is being able to talk here to all of you that understand that helps get me through.