Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Women who Love too Much Support Group

I want you, I need you, I love you

solo60
solo60
If you had to pinpoint that one thing you are trying to find for yourself, the one thing you are trying to "get" from that husband, or BF or SO, what is it? I have forced myself to answer this question. I know that the moment I feel a man's arms around me, in that protective way that makes me feel safe, which is probably the same thing I needed from my parent, that's when I attach. That's when my emotions kick in and I tell myself I am in love. This is "need". Is there a difference? What is that one thing for you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
The attention feels good, being needed, as a purpose and fufillment, the safety feeling like you expressed, being a couple-fitting in with other couples, feeling I'm ok because I have a relationship, meaning something is not wrong with me. The chance to work on myself in a relationship. There is more than one thing as you can see,
but the biggest is a partner to be with (hopefully in a positive way) and do with (all the things I enjoy doing with someone) -someone who has dreams like mine that we can make it happen together.
solo60
solo60
Suseydore, you've expressed this beautifully. Thank you for your thoughts.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'll never forget the day my XNPD put his arms around me and told me he'd take care of me. Oh he took care of me all right, took me right to the cleaners. It occured to me this week that he had no dreams of the future. He couldnt get past his day to day of getting wasted, living paycheck to paycheck. He didnt fix the house his parents bought for him, was falling down around him, his parents would come over and fix things, clean for him. How sad. They've stunted his growth and help to turn him into the selfish human being he is. He has no thoughts of retirement or an upgrade for his house, where he'd like to take a vacation, nothing. I used to and with him I let all of mine go until I couldnt even think of anything but getting through each day, biding my time until he blew up my world again. Since I've been away from him I started thinking about what I want down the road. I'm taking a cooking class and a creative writing class, thinking about moving, I even think about going shopping. I never did that, unless it was for food or booze for him. I never did anything for myself. I forgot myself and my dreams, I'll never do that again, nor will I alter what I want for a partner. I dont have big dreams but it's good to have the little ones back again.