Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I just ran into him on my way to the store this morning. I was walking to the store at 7:30 a.m. I didn't expect to run in to him at this time of morning but I was a block from my house and he drove by from the other direction and stopped his car with the window down and said, "Hey, I'm moving today" and I got flooded with adrenalin and it totally took me by surprise and I didn't know how to respond so I gave him a disgusted look and didn't say anything. Then he said, "You don't want to say hi?" and I just turned forward and started walking and he drove away.
After the adrenalin wore off I started feeling guilty for being mean because moving is so hard/stressful and I couldn't even be nice or have any compassion for him. I also felt kind of like immature child for giving him that dirty look and walking away but I really didn't know how to respond. Then after feeling guilty I scared myself wondering what if he tries to get back at me for snubbing him? He's vengeful. I feel bad that I caused him pain but if I had said anything it would have just been an opening for him to manipulate me.
I'm home now and there are no messages from him. He's blocked from texting but my land line isn't blocked so it looks like he hasn't tried to call me. Man that was upsetting. I couldn't believe the adrenalin rush. I always think of early morning as 'a safe zone' regarding running into him because even though he lives nearby (not after today, I hope!) he usually doesn't even get up until after 8.
I am really having a hard time now. I really feel off kilter and I can't get my bearings straight. I've been trying to quit smoking and I already smoked more than what I've been allowing for my limit and then I tried to talking to this neighbor guy who isn't good for me out of anxiety and maybe wanting to escape and I just can't seem to calm down and feel okay today.
After the adrenalin wore off I started feeling guilty for being mean because moving is so hard/stressful and I couldn't even be nice or have any compassion for him. I also felt kind of like immature child for giving him that dirty look and walking away but I really didn't know how to respond. Then after feeling guilty I scared myself wondering what if he tries to get back at me for snubbing him? He's vengeful. I feel bad that I caused him pain but if I had said anything it would have just been an opening for him to manipulate me.
I'm home now and there are no messages from him. He's blocked from texting but my land line isn't blocked so it looks like he hasn't tried to call me. Man that was upsetting. I couldn't believe the adrenalin rush. I always think of early morning as 'a safe zone' regarding running into him because even though he lives nearby (not after today, I hope!) he usually doesn't even get up until after 8.
I am really having a hard time now. I really feel off kilter and I can't get my bearings straight. I've been trying to quit smoking and I already smoked more than what I've been allowing for my limit and then I tried to talking to this neighbor guy who isn't good for me out of anxiety and maybe wanting to escape and I just can't seem to calm down and feel okay today.
lucidak
Diana, you did very well..be proud of not giving him the time of day...don't feel guilty...It is no longer your job to make him feel better or feel sorry for him or worry about how he is feeling..You and your needs come first...If the phone rings, don't pick up. Put some music on loud and take some deep breaths...Much love.
belle8194
Diana! F-HIM! Your reaction was the right reaction!!! Don't feel guilty about him. Believe me he didn't feel guilty about you. Maybe today he feels a bit bad and he should!
shani96
Why is it that when we do the right thing and take care of ourselves we second guess it?? We make ourselves feel bad and talk negative to ourself? You did good. You said it yourself that anything you would have said you would not have been comfortable with so the best thing was to say nothing. You did good, you did good, you did good. Keep taking care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Also remind yourself that it is over and done. If you keep your mind focused on it you will waste your wonderful day on him!
yougospam
I absolutely dread the first time I run into my ex. I haven't seen him since we went to the attorney's office in July, I have gone no contact since then. I have no idea what we'll say to each other or if the chance encounter will devastate me, I worry about that a lot. Even tho he lives just a few blocks from me, I've yet to run into him or his family, I hope I didn't just jinx myself........yikes. I really miss him, I hate that.
DianaShepherd
Hi, guys. Thank you very much for the support. Sorry it took me so long to get back and reply. I'm towards the end of my med taper and seriously having a hard time so it's hard to apply myself to anything right now; but thank you, I read your posts on that day and they were very helpful to me. *hugs*
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