Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
...and I feel so selfish about it. We had been dating about a year, and I just got to the point where I was so fed up about the lack of time we spend together, and the wishy-washy, passive way he approached the relationship. He could go for weeks without seeing me or even talking on the phone. When I called him last night to say all this, he didn't even seem that phased, which hurt me even more. I can't figure out why I keep pouring my feelings into and getting attached to men who are just lukewarm about me. In my mid-forties, I'm too old to be stuck this cycle. Today I feel like I am going to be alone forever.
Had a similar experience. He never wanted to see me, didn't put up a big fight when I left his city (LA), didn't even remember my birthday and didn't care. He did me so much emotional damage. I just couldn't see the signs he didn't care while I was in it because I wanted him to love me. But now I can see it clearly. Actions speak louder than words. I have not dated anyone since him. The best thing I ever did was end that relationship.
Dating culture lacks seriousness and respect nowadays. With ghosting, etc. These things really, deeply hurt. It's better to be alone than in a bad relationship. HOWEVER I believe being alone is only worth it if women make the most of it. Take risks, do crazy things you could never do if you were married. Read stories about married women who wish they were not married. One crazy risk I did was go backpacking in Ukraine and Turkey for 3 months. I 'solo-climbed' two mountains in Ukraine. I was broke when I came back and could have fallen and died on the mountain and never could have done that if I'd had a family.
Is there some big risky adventure you could take? Some hike, some foreign country, some crazy dream?
Also, reaching out to other hurting people who need help, such as homeless.
That guy may never come along, for myself or for you. I hate saying that but it's the truth. So I think the solution is to maximize singleness not live a humdrum life dating just ok men but keeping high standards and, again, living the life a married woman wishes she could. There are positives and negatives to everything. What you do have as a mid-forties woman is life experience and wisdom, and know who you are. A married woman might always long for more free time, a single woman will always long for a man but we can't have it all.
Please take some extra care of you today. x