Bear with me this is long, I have been with my BF for three and a half years now with a small break two years ago - where he was seeing someone else. Anyway when we broke up for that short span the reason was, he did not want to get married, he only wanted to live with someone, he felt smothered, he did not want anyone thinking for him, etc. Then I come to find out later he had started seeing someone else- a bartender with anger issues. He started drinking heavy in this time. He said it was because he was dealing with her running through all his savings and missing me. Let's say I am completely opposite of this type of woman. We ended up back together after a ton of effort on his part. He secretly started drinking heavy again and a year ago ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis and heart failure. He is better now, but still has his beers from time to time and his pancreatic attacks from time to time. I sat in the hospital with him for a week. I missed work and my mom watched my daughter. I found out he had been having completely inappropriate conversations with another woman right before he went in the hospital (saw his text). He swears it was the alcohol that caused his destructive behavior and I believed him. (stupid me!). Well, everything was going beautifully, so I thought. He got new job at the first of the year. He was so excited - he said we could get married now, had his son pick out the room he wanted in my house, told my mom we would buy her dining room furniture, drew up plan for a storage shed in my back yard, told hid new boss his plans to marry this summer. The for the past 3-4 weeks he started to become distant. I was not hearing form him as much, he normally calls constantly. I was not seeing him on the weekends. I did not even see him on Valentine's day. We were supposed to go out with some friends, he cancelled. We were supposed to take my daughter to the circus - he cancelled, said he was sick. I went by to check on him and take his gift I had not been able to give him yet. This last Wednesday we were having lunch which turned into more. Then Friday I get a phone call, right before we were supposed to spend the weekend together., "I don't want to get married". OUCH! We talked again an hour later after I refused to answer the phone for a while. t went kind of like this from him, " I'm 39 years old, I have the right to be single", "I'm not the two car in the garage, 3.5 kids type", "I am tired of my parents shoving you down my throat and telling me I need to marry you, that you love me, that you are good for me", 'Anyone would have sat at the hospital for a week, you are not special", "I am tied of being smothered". WTH??? So yes, I let him in again and history repeated it self. I have not spoken to him since I hung up on him Friday when I had heard enough craziness. I told him I was no mad that he did not want to get married, I was mad he lied to me a deceived me about it. PLEASE - to those that are struggling with these types of men...RUN!!! They do not change. They may appear to change for a while, they may even think they are trying to do so. They make you feel warm with their initial charm, but the dark side always comes out. The longer you are with them the more you tolerate because you are still remembering that initial charm. Don't give them a second chance. Here I am again dealing with the same crazy mixed up feelings I had before. Yes, they will quickly move on - I am sure mine has already, but I deactivated my FB account so I cannot make myself crazy snooping (I have learned a few self-preservation tricks). However, they move to the next victim. They will charm her for a while, then the dark side will come out. It is inevitable.