Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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i.. can't

sibly
sibly
So he told me "it's better if we dont talk" right? But today I went to the cafeteria after class and there he goes, touches my arm and tells me I'm going to the library bye, and doesn't even wait for my response (i must have muteres a okay or so) and then I went up (the cafeteria is downstairs) and there he is with a girl! talking happily (!) I go upstairs because I needed to talk to a professor, and when I come down (after a very sad tear shedding in the bathroom like an idiot) I was going to take the stairs and there they are, happily talking (still! with me.. he didnt talk that much..) so I take another door to go out.
So I come home, put myself together and go to my next class, guess who I see... HIM! he comes to me and says well, you're going to class? I'm ging to have a bite and go study again, bye, and once again leaves...
I miss him... and i haven't talked to him or messaged him in 8 days...so what the hell is he doing?
goingup
goingup
If he touches you, or approaches you, tell him to stop bothering you and to leave you alone. He's playing games! He sounds so manipulative. That is exactly what he is doing: manipulating you.

He sounds like he is ruining your life and causing way too much emotional upheaval. Stay strong and keep up with no contact!!! You need to be your own protector in this situation, because he is not.

Big hugs x
hopeless73
hopeless73
He just wants to make sure you are still under his control. This hot-cold type of behavior is to keep you off-guard, unsettled, and unsure of where you stand with him. He is enjoying every minute of it, believe me. I know it is hard to believe someone could be so cruel, but these guys are capable of just about anything. A good person like you is looking for some romantic meaning behind his actions, but there isn't any. If he has said he wants out of the relationship, you need to start moving on and cut him off.

It's too bad you have to see him. I think you are doing the right thing by trying to avoid him at school, but making eye contact and allowing him to pull you in will only make his sad game continue.

Other people on this site have shared their push-pull relationships after a break-up and it always ends badly. He is just trying to make sure he still has your interest because he needs to feed his ego.

Your feelings of despair and confusion are normal in this circumstance. You are a loving, caring, wonderful person who doesn't deserve the games he's playing.

Good thoughts are with you.
Blueshoes2
Blueshoes2
Whether he wants out of your relationship or not, you need to focus on your needs and what I hear you saying is that you don't need to feel confused and emotionally abused, which is how you are feeling when dealing with him. Hopeless73 is correct...he is making sure he knows he still has you hooked so he can feel stroked and in power. Don't give him that power it will only keep the abuse going.

And the stronger you are the more drawn he will be to you, so don't forget that. The moment you "need" him he is out the door. But they love the chase and the victory, then they are on to the next while sending you mixed messages to continue the game so they can feel powerful and stroked.

They are so NOT worth it.
moklettke
moklettke
This may not sound like much (and I'm guilty of saying it as well), but one of the most profound things I ever heard regarding the word "can't", is change it to won't. By doing that, it can really help you look into the why. "Why won't I don't that?" It got me to stop saying can't and changing it to I can!
sibly
sibly
That sounds like a good idea =) thank you