Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Hello... I've tried the friend thing with him so I went out with him today. We fought because he was really cold with me all week. I've told him that and his answers were you would know, it's your opinion, I won't explain myself. It was a simple coffee... We fought a lot, for 1 hour because I wasn't seeing him, just a cold version of him.
Finally he took the mask off and hugged me... I just cried like a child, I felt so lost so exposed, I feel like my skin is burnt and I'm sensitive to even the slightest touch.
After that he kept on hugging me and I accompanied him to pick up some documents and he told me to go have that coffee. We went and... I've asked him if he would come back to me. Last time I've made him that surprise and he told me to get back I got afraid and said to give it a little time.. and I think I've blew it..
I've asked him.. he said no, that I destabilize his world.
That I'm not like last year, this year I'm the opposite. I destabilize him.
he kept hugging me.. so i felt the need to stop that and told him that I was feeling him as a boyfriend so it was better to talk this way.. a little apart.
We talked, went to a store and he insisted in accompany to my home. He came with me for a little while and then we kinda hugged... he said have fun (it's a festive day here today so a friend asked me to go with her to a party) and he went to his meeting, he got there a little late.
He doesn't want me. What do I do? Do I delete his stuff? do I roll over and fall asleep and never get up again? I'm feeling a lot like this 2nd option.
Finally he took the mask off and hugged me... I just cried like a child, I felt so lost so exposed, I feel like my skin is burnt and I'm sensitive to even the slightest touch.
After that he kept on hugging me and I accompanied him to pick up some documents and he told me to go have that coffee. We went and... I've asked him if he would come back to me. Last time I've made him that surprise and he told me to get back I got afraid and said to give it a little time.. and I think I've blew it..
I've asked him.. he said no, that I destabilize his world.
That I'm not like last year, this year I'm the opposite. I destabilize him.
he kept hugging me.. so i felt the need to stop that and told him that I was feeling him as a boyfriend so it was better to talk this way.. a little apart.
We talked, went to a store and he insisted in accompany to my home. He came with me for a little while and then we kinda hugged... he said have fun (it's a festive day here today so a friend asked me to go with her to a party) and he went to his meeting, he got there a little late.
He doesn't want me. What do I do? Do I delete his stuff? do I roll over and fall asleep and never get up again? I'm feeling a lot like this 2nd option.
It may seem extreme, but it's not: I suggest to delete his stuff. I suggest going 'no contact' with him. Maybe you aren't destabilitzing his world, but he is clearly destabilizing yours and that is not ok. Nobody can put an end to that but you, by demanding that you deserve better.
Big hugs and good luck, keep us updated x
I've talked to him today because he asked for some class stuff last time we talked and I've told him I would also give him some extra notes, he told me that he didn't want those that the ones he had were enough. he's giving me the cold shower again.
I just don't understand why I don't simply tell him enough is enough... that I won't talk to him again... maybe it's because I see he's suffering like me... and that's what frustrates me!
I've forgotten our arguments and don't throw them at him, but he's punishing me for telling him we weren't just ready to get back, to have patience.
it's just... he is destabilising me, I was the one that failed some disciplines and needs to go to the 2nd phase and I still want to be with him because I believe I can make it work. but he doesn't feel like it.
please someone help e fix my head and get throw that I should be with someone that will work as much as me to stay together or else it isn't worth it
I
Seems like none of this is met with that man.
You are just letting yourself being caught into games and your emotions shattered.
Ask yourself, why wouldyou want in your life a man that rejects you and who doesn't show a clear attitude?
You and your feelings are Worth a thousand times more than that.
I am sorry for you having to live this, but it is always time for reflexion before you are going on that rollercoaster.
I still miss him and really wanted to share with him what's been going on in my life, but he made no effort to contact me... so I haven't either.
It takes a major effort ... and sometimes I just want to be held by him or wake up to him next to me.. But he doesn't want me, so I won't look for him.
It's not such a bad thing that you have been able to go "no contact" for 3 weeks with that impossible man.
Of course you miss him, but you do not have to stay in a void longing for him.
It might feel like emptiness in this beginning, but you know perfectly that that man does not want you and you deserve someone who is attentionate and caring all the time.
This void needs to be filled with Something (not relationships, please), no , this void needs to be feel with new activities that make blossom what is awaiting in you.
For example : drawing lessons, sport at the swimming pool, reading and becoming an expert in love and addiction, going to the movies (even alone), listening to your favourite music on you tube, etc.
You can even get yourself a pet (if you do not have already one).
You need to fill yourself with sane and attractive things so that you become more self confident and less needy and so you can atract next time someone who is not playing games and is cold and distant.
Have a great evening,
Maria
I've been keeping myself busy but I can't help it.. I wish I could tell him about my day, I wish he cared. I wish he missed me. I wish he talked to me.
I'm just tired of missing him.
"Don't pick up that phone".
Be patient, I promise in some weeks you will feel much better.
Very big warm hug from the other side of the atlantic sea.
Yeaup ! :=) That's a big big hug. you see?
Keep us updated here sweetheart.
Maria
I will do my best... it's been 29 days and if I pick up that phone I'll get back at day 1. I don't want to feel rejected again. I'm over the rejection phase. I thought I should fight for what I want but I can't fight for who doesn't want me.
Big hug Maria :)