did i do the wrong thing? ok, im hormonal, i know he is a liar, but i have gone OUT OF MY WAY to try to make this easier on the both of us, as far as what needs to be done in the future reguarding the baby, as legal matters, and as wishes on both sides. he always says there is no time, work work work, so on and so forth. everything else is more important.

he says he will have time last monday to sit and talk about things. well i found out he was in the casino... just out farting about. he was never a big gambler, but it really did piss me off.

i had been wanting to know how or where his parents stand in this whole thing. if they want anything or info on the baby, he says he had told them. i told him i would like to speak with them. i have respected his wishes thus far. i called them today, or his dad. i have to call back at 6 to talk more, but they did not know i was pregnant. all they knew is that he told them he broke up with me. if they dont want anything to do with the baby then fine, but I, MYSELF, and ME need to know. cause this baby will have family out there. and maybe they will care about her, maybe not. im just starting 7 months pregnant, he has had PLENTY of time to take care of things. also i do not want it to just be a surprise. i know he will hate me for this. but after finding out he was out and about, instead of working oh so hard he has no time for us to talk.

now that i am back to work i feel more self sufficient, and capable of dealing with what is to come. I know he is going to hate me for this. and im torn apart as to whether or not i did the right thing. but this isnt about him, its about the baby, me, then him.... in that order.

im tired of unreturned phone calls with excuses of he was at work. i KNOW he could make time if he wanted to. im tired of him making me feel insignificant. fuck him. im back to work now, i make a hell of alot more than him if money is all that matters, and I can TAKE GOD DAMN CARE OF MYSELF, one way or another. im tired. im fed up. im pregnant, hormonal, i feel fat. and i dont have to deal with this and i need this off my chest.

im still unsure whether or not if i did the wrong thing. i will write an update after i speak with them for the second time. i want to come across as kind, and that i just want to offer them pictures and info if they wish to recieve it. i know they are skeptical about whether or not it is his, understandable, beings they have never talked to me, and didnt know i was pregnant. but they need to know, and will know in about 2-3 months for sure with a paternity test.

better they know now.

oh... what do you all think? did i do the wrong thing?
geesh. am i just being hormonal and impulsive??? im just tired of being lied to, and being lied about