Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
A little incident this morning with assclown made me see my situation with such clarity its light I feel lighter somehow….
a) absolute clarity of his self-centred and self-serving attitude and personality. There was an incident which I won't go into but was shockingly selfish.
b) That I am co-dependant.
After the incident I am referring to he withdrew and went to his office. He left me a cup of tea in the bedroom while I was in the shower, as a peace offering I guess. I went down to his office and asked him "would you please explain what that was all about ! Im struggling to understand how you can treat me like that one second and say you love me in the next breath"
….conversation ensues where he tells me he treated me with disrespect in the bedroom as he feels bad about how much weight he has put on (!) we then discuss how he feels about his weight. (he says its my fault for making such nice food!) and he asks me to help him.
but I began to notice how I felt good.
I felt strong and confident, relaxed.
He needed me, he needed me to help him lose weight.
I felt the happiest I have felt for a long time.
Which struck me as classic co-dependancy. It is clear.
I am needed so I feel happy.
Now I have this knowledge and understanding I wanted to write it here so I can share it with you and be reminded of this moment always.
Now I can work on that.
x
a) absolute clarity of his self-centred and self-serving attitude and personality. There was an incident which I won't go into but was shockingly selfish.
b) That I am co-dependant.
After the incident I am referring to he withdrew and went to his office. He left me a cup of tea in the bedroom while I was in the shower, as a peace offering I guess. I went down to his office and asked him "would you please explain what that was all about ! Im struggling to understand how you can treat me like that one second and say you love me in the next breath"
….conversation ensues where he tells me he treated me with disrespect in the bedroom as he feels bad about how much weight he has put on (!) we then discuss how he feels about his weight. (he says its my fault for making such nice food!) and he asks me to help him.
but I began to notice how I felt good.
I felt strong and confident, relaxed.
He needed me, he needed me to help him lose weight.
I felt the happiest I have felt for a long time.
Which struck me as classic co-dependancy. It is clear.
I am needed so I feel happy.
Now I have this knowledge and understanding I wanted to write it here so I can share it with you and be reminded of this moment always.
Now I can work on that.
x
we are all co dependent and it's so cool that you had such clarity this morning. ....write that one down?? remember that. remember the moment when you realized your illness....you can heal that sunny! awareness is the first step so congrats!!!!
I think its the fact that I don't feel worthwhile unless I can help people, that they won't want me unless they need me for something. Thats the co-D thing - I think!
...but my life at the moment does not involve any 'helping'.
I used to work in a hospice and with children in primary school which gave me joy and a purpose. My Assclown 'forbids' me to work outside the home. He either makes it very difficult for me, says he forbids it or otherwise makes it horrible for me the rest of the time!.
I am going to make some changes with that this year. There are two primary school in this village Im sure one of them would like a volunteer helper?! I am qualified too!