When I broke up with the boyfriend in December (for the thousandth time) I was depressed once again. I had tried antidepressants in the past and did not work. I have Hypothyroidism and read about adrenal stress which is not just related to Hypothyroidism but with people who have stress in their lives.
I went to an acupuncturist to work on the adrenal which did wonders. Last time I was there I asked him to work on my depression and believe or not I felt better. The key which is always difficult is finding a good one. They can work wonders on depression, at least to start getting over the hump.

Chicagogirl - (and Dracona, sorry to hijack slightly)

I too have hypo and had attributed adrenal stress to (I think) from having lived in a state of almost constant
hyper stress from a dysfunctional relationship! All that wondering when I might hear from him, whether he'd be in a bad mood if I did, what might happen etc...

They say if you are experiencing ongoing emotional issues with hypo your body can get caught between fight or flight, causing adrenalin to peak massively and crash!

My hypo and low energy is an ongoing issue - but I notice I am so much calmer now, now the outside stress has gone, now I'm not waiting around, walking on egg shells or so nervous if I don't get to speak to my X, or then so happy once I did. etc etc

Sorry, am rambling now, but i guess my message to you both is - if you're still feeling low:
low impact cardio exercise (without shooting the adrenalin to peak and fall) can be GREAT for the depression! I swear by it!!

Although probably writing this to you now on a post-exercise high, I'll slump in an hour or so ha ha.

When I started acupuncture I was on .137mg of Synthyroid and after being treated for adrenal stress for about 12 treatments my dosage was able to go to down to .125mg. I have minimized the outward stress but with my background, I tend to "create" a lot of internal mental stress. I also "loop"--"did I screw up my life by leaving husband, why did I get involved with ex-boyfriend. why do I not exercise more, eat better, why am I so lazy and the list goes on and on in my head. WHY_WHY_WHY-makes me crazy

I think my dysfunctional relationship is with me right now:) and I cannot get rid of that relationship but only make it better by honoring myself, trying to boost my self esteem and do the best I can day by day. Some days are better than others.

I can tell you this, if you are still tired and doing the exercise and eating healthy, I would look into acupuncture for the adrenal stress.

thanks for the accupuncture advice! The exercise is great for me, as it helps with the crazies and I love it anyway...but I might give it a go when I get some money coming in.

I'm on 100mcg now.
I forgot to take my meds one day last week and was in bed all day the next...so it's still not quite right.

Sorry for hijacking this thread with the hypo stuff :S

Hope you find a way to manage your 'loop' and boost your self esteem!! x

Dracona,
I read this earlier and have muddled over it today. It's really hard to come to any idea on without knowing much about you. Of course, I feel a little intimidated since you've been here much longer and my first thought is that you're probably leap years ahead of where I am in recovery. Then, again, you never know where/who gets and gives when, so I muddled.

One thing that absolutely pops into my head, but I don't know - is just where are you with the issues that originally were there, before the destructive ex (or exes)? What caused you to go to that spot and what have you done to heal those issues? What issues did you discover you had and then come through? And are there any you felt you never got completely through or through to a point you're at peace with it?

I also have some thoughts on men lately. You know how men swear that nice guys finish last and women swear that they really don't want jerks. If that sounds at all of interest, I'll be happy to ramble about it and my theories for a while :) I think I put some of it down somewhere on here - don't remember where though.

I can also mention that your post on love - where you were saying about how it's not all exciting, but it's great in it's own way. I did kinda get a not-complete vibe from that. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I wasn't surprised to see this posted today. I think love does get a lot less exciting than trauma bonds were, yes. But just plain old love is exciting, too. I have not ever been married for years and years. But, I was with Dustin for 3.5 and I still talked about him too much, lol. He was still exciting to me. I also see women who appear to be authentically happily married - some that I've known decently well. And they still talk about their husbands a lot - like they're still excited and romanced. Not every day, but overall. IDK - not my area of expertise - obviously. But, those are my thoughts for now.

Ok, doing just a little Dracona research here. Went back to your 'Love' post and am putting the two together. Plus, took a quick look at your profile and what groups you're in. Since that is public to see, I hope you do not mind me mentioning it.
So, you wrote in that: "i feel guilty often, because i dont feel that intensity with him, and i want to. But i wouldnt trade him for the world."

Now, you posted this. I look at your profile and see child abuse group. Ok. I don't know you at all, but I do know of something very common that you are definately hinting at doing. Burying your wounds and gaurding your emotions. Yep, a classic one. I don't know about you, but I'm personally constantly amazed at how many of the classic issues I have - like the good old trying-to-replace-my-father syndrom, lol.

Ok, so abused women were not allowed to be vulnerable. They were hurt. As adults, they miss the balance boat on vulnerability. Sometimes they give their whole heart to men who treat them horribly and use way less caution than necessary. Other times they do the opposite, learn how to spot danger, become self-sufficient, and close off that part of their heart. And, of course, often a woman will do one, learn why that sucks, then switch to the other. Sounds like you still have a sheild over your heart. You can't do that :) It dosn't work. We have to be vulneralbe and we probably will get hurt again someday. It's a part of love. So, the childhood wounds must be addressed and we have to give our whole heart again. I don't know you that well, I'm just guessing, of course.

So far, a few things have helped me - but I certainly don't have the list mastered.
1 - finding and admitting to whatever still hurts (sometimes really hard to find it!)
2 - crying like a baby about it :)
3 - God and asking him to heal me
4 - find my anger about the BS that was done to me - lots of rage, really
5 - then, release it (beaten up some pretty good pillows, written some vindictive letter that I never sent, and did a good amount of just screaming, but, again, God has been the biggest help on that)
6 - letting go of control over my safety. reasonable precautions good. control or trying to control bad - hard for me to learn
7 - EMDR really helped me with seperating feelings that are from the past from ones that are current.

Ok, well that's a ton of stuff to write for having no real clue if that's really even what's going on for you. But, I tend to write a lot. Oh well. Good luck on this.

Hi Dracona:

Per: He deserves better then me ... sounds like a self esteem issue brewing. Almost as if you don't deserve someone being good to you?

I know the baby is still very young so please give yourself time to adjust to motherhood. It is a huge shift. You are doing great, an inspiration. You are in a stable relationship after being dumped when pregnant. That is severe trauma. You have rebounded.

Joe and I have been back and forth discussing feelings. Here is an excert from an article in case it helps:

7. Emotional Walls ~ due to a co-dependentâs need to help and take care of others they neglect themselves, which in turn causes them to become out of touch with their own feelings. When a feeling does emerge, it is often in an intense and explosive way that the people around them will feel. They will then go about trying to âfixâ the damage done and rebuild their image. They have become so out of touch with their feelings that oftentimes they cannot determine their own wants and needs when left to their own devices.

Here is the complete article:

http://beckahthepsychic.wordpress.com/2009/03/27/recog-co-dependent/

Thanks everyone.....

First chicago girl, i have been wanting to try acupuncture,and as soon as i get my taxes, im going to do so.. i think i know where a good one is. not just for stres but for my back. I know it has something that goes on with me, im feeling a little better than when i origionally wrote this, so im a little more level headed. but i was thinking it has to do with pmdd or something, cause it seems to go in flow with my cycle how i am with things. but after having a baby, of course cycles go crazy... but that was 10 months ago? i dont know. but i am definately going to try it. and im joining a gym... my weight gain dont help issues at all.

and jolleenee

a little background i guess... i started this group after having joined here, and realizing i had a big problem with the men in my life. i fell in love with the people here from other groups, and met someone who was having problems, and figured why not give it a shot.. and this group has taken off well. this path has led me to look deeper inside myself than i ever thought possible. so many issues, so many reasons why i am the way i am. and so many ways around dealing with myself. and everytime you think you got it, you dont, and start over, again. if i were to seriously try to name what is wrong with my current relationship, i couldnt put a finger on it. he is safe... reliable.... loving. he is strong and will and can stand his ground without hurting me when i have my fits. and he takes wonderful care of my daughter, after her real father dumped me to the streets. but its hard, cause it seems there is something missing. sex isnt all that great, and ive never really been that attracted to him. but i love him. and the voice i keep fighting with in my head that keeps telling me i dont want him, can tell me nothing legitamate about why i would think such things. except, he is fat. he is this, he left his underwear on the floor, stupid things.
so i cannot act on these impulses because they are stupid, and not where i want to be in my life. but it hurts my feelings, and stumps me, and makes me feel guilty, because i want to be happy with him.
i dont want to date, not to mention bring my daughter into it. i have college to do.. and work...
I enjoy sitting down to have dinner with someone, a family. I have a real nice guy, someone who will support me in whatever i do, and do what he can to take care of us. he never holds my faults against me,
only tries to understand. im an emotional mess cause of my family to this day even. i try to stay away.
you have alot of good insight, and you are totally on the right path... it helps you to help others. you can learn alot about yourself. and thanks for takign the time to go through all that for me. it means alot.

hey susyp

i say he deserves better than me cause i feel like i could treat him so much better, i have so much ups and downs, and im so quick to be angry with him. i dont want him to be the nice guy, like i was the nice girl once. that emotional walls makes sense. hard to even tell anymore. and its frustrating.
I know all this though... but it never stops me from feeling this way....
but my motto for a while has been, fake it till it becomes the truth... we did it with our ex's right? we told ourselves how good they were, how wonderful, and believed it. so i guess i can do the same thing with trying to recover from everything.